Moving From Canada to America: The New Canadian Girl

After a lot of tearful goodbyes to our friends and family, we sold our house (within weeks), stored our furniture, took our dog and flew to California. Saying that the O.C. was a culture from growing up in Toronto, Ontario was a shock to us would be an understatement. We went from watching Degrassi Junior High to Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Health insurance to paid insurance and Bayview Village mall to Fashion Island.

At least my brother and I had each other. We entered the school and found the front office to let them know that we were new student's. I'm sure I ended my every sentence in eh! as I noticed that they kept ending their sentences in dude! My bro was taken to his new 7th grade class and I was escorted by a girl 'Jenny' who was the same age as me, but looked like she was going on thirty. Jenny asked me where was I transferring from. I told her Toronto. "Where?" she asked. "Um, Toronto" I responded. "Wait your Canadian?"
"Yes, we're Canadian eh!" I said.

Jenny then exclaimed "So your the new Canadian girl!"
I smiled from ear to ear and said "I guess I am."

Jenny then took me to my new homeroom class. As I entered the class, I felt all of the students look me up and down and I just about died. I found an empty seat and was glad to have a few moments to sit and catch my breath. I could see Jenny talking in the corner to some other student's and whispering. I wondered if she was talking about me or about my Betty Boop shirt?

Finally, what felt like forever a girl that Jenny was talking to came over and sat next to me. Her name was 'Tamara'. She asked me "Are you the new Canadian girl?" I could see a theme forming "Yes."
"I've never met someone from Canada before can I ask you some questions?"
"Sure eh! (*Please know that within months I never ever said eh again as I couldn't take the strange looks.)

Tamara asked me "What's it like to wear snowshoes, live in an igloo and have you ever felt the warmth of the sun before?"

I thought oh boy, do we have our work cut out for us. I smiled and told Tamara that Toronto is a metropolitan city, a cleaner New York. Filled with the arts, restaurants, sports and freezing in the winter, but hot and humid in the summer. So hot that my friends and I would go to cottages in the summer and swim in the lake.

So throughout my High School experience, I was always known as the friendly Canadian girl. I guess it could have been a lot worse. When I tried out to be on the cheerleading squad or when I tried out for the High School plays they remembered me.

We knew we were in an alternative universe when you walked in the High School parking lot. Why you may ask? Because the students drove nicer cars then the teachers. Imagine how the teachers must have felt when the sixteen year olds drove BMW's and Mercedes as their first cars. This Canadian girl drove a white, convertible Cabriolet Volkswagen which was perfect for taking my cheerleading pompom's and friends surf boards to the beach.

I didn't realize how much I had started to change until picture day. As a squad we took cheerleading pictures to hand out to our family and friends. My picture was of me sitting by a pool, my long hair tied with a white bow, posing and wearing my baby blue cheerleading outfit. I bought extra pictures and decided to send them to my friends in Toronto. I wrote little notes on the back of each note. When my Canadian childhood friends received this picture they had a field day. I looked so much like an American while my friends in Newport kept calling me Canadian.

Now I felt like I didn't really fit in in either Newport Beach or Toronto. And as if being teenager and moving wasn't hard enough :) How do you think you would have handled Tamara's questions? What was your favorite tv show from the '90s?

Girls and guys can’t be friends!

I was in the sixth grade, when my best guy friend asked me to be his girlfriend. I’m embarrassed to tell you this shocked me. I went home and asked for advice from my father and brother. They told me, “Girls and guys can’t be friends.” Although they were right, I still asked them to remind me of this throughout the years.

For example, there was the one time my childhood guy friend came to visit me in Newport Beach from Toronto. Growing up ‘Mark’ and I lived one street away and rode our bikes together. My brother and father, yet again, reminded me that girls and guys can’t be ‘just’ friends. I still didn’t believe them.

My friend arrived the next day with gifts for all of us. He brought flowers for my mother, a business card holder for my father and a diamond bracelet for me. Ah yes the 'friend curse’ had struck me again.

Do you think I learned my lesson from 'Mark'? Oh no, not yet!

Here’s another example. When I was eighteen, I made ‘pen pal friends’ with a boy from Kansas City, MO. We wrote ‘friendly’ letters to one another. Before he graduated high school, he invited me to visit him and go to his sister’s wedding. I flew to Kansas City to find, I was actually apart of the wedding and sitting at the head table as his date. Quickly I found a pay phone and called my brother to ask for his advice. He only laughed on the other end of the phone and said, “What have I been telling you for years!”

And sadly I must admit that I did this ‘just friends thing’ to my Honey as well. For a year and a half we were the best of ‘friends’. My father had to remind me about this curse and open my eyes. Why did I believe with all my heart that my guy friendships were the same as my girlfriends? Tell me do you think my father and brother were right? Looking forward to your reading your comments.

*(On a side note, I'm excited to receive a great piece of luggage to review soon for my blogging friends. Actually, CSN provides online shoppers with over 200 sites where you can find anything from a mattress to a new sink for your bathroom! Check them out sweeties!)

Our Love Story: Work Friends First

How did this casual work relationship become one of the most meaningful relationships of my life? Casual glances across the cubicles, coffee runs, quick touch base meetings to vent about work and bosses and happy hours all contributed to us talking. We sat behind each other in cubicles at the office. We would say hello to each other everyday, which turned into hugs which then turned into a confidant I could talk to in the office. We felt like Jim and Pam. Now that I think about it we probably acted like Jim and Pam.

I remember after we had started to hang out at work, a coworker in another group asked if we were dating. "Oh no!" I replied "We're just friends." I couldn't even imagine us dating. We were such good friends, came from different cultures, had a nice relationship and I didn't want to ruin that. Future honey, on the other hand, knew differently. Poor guy.

When I think about our time together at work I smile. We seemed to support one another in a professional, caring way. I looked forward to seeing him everyday and was concerned if he was working too hard. When we had group lunches, it didn't seem the same to me if he couldn't make it. We also had a lot of inside jokes and I felt a little pang of jealousy every time he asked me for advice about a girl he was dating. (I know now that I was putting him through the same torment.)

I fondly remember our weekly Coit Tower conference room discussions. We would start off talking about work, our bosses, interview techniques but then our discussions would turn to personal topics. How's the family, friends, people we were seeing, dating advice and life advice. I felt very connected to him and appreciated all of our touch base talks.

I can remember that it was a dark and rainy day when our casual work relationship first changed. I was coming back from a meeting when I noticed that he wasn't sitting at his desk. I looked, casually, around the office for him. I found him all alone in an abandoned office, staring into at a window at the rain. He wasn't moving. He let me know that he had found out that a really good friend of his had been killed by a drunk driver. His friend was only 22.

I asked my future honey, if I could sit with him. He said yes. We both sat there, quiet and staring at the rain. Some of the time he would talk to me, in shock and some of the time nothing. I hugged him and encouraged him to go downstairs with me to the coffee place for some orange juice for his shock.

That was the moment that we turned into good friends.

I also remember another time that hinted there was more between us. I was in charge of throwing get togethers, birthday parties and happy hours at our office. His birthday was coming up and I wanted to throw him an amazing surprise party. I booked the largest conference room, invited a lot of people, decorated the room and got a cake. All I wanted to see was him smiling and surprised. He was shocked and amazed. Can you say giving a guy mixed messages? Sorry honey.

A couple of months later, I got injured. I had an old knee injury that I aggravated and I starting limping at work. Future honey was so concerned about me. He seemed to be the only one in the entire world that cared. I returned from lunch to find, on my desk, supplies from the pharmacy for my knee that I hadn't asked for. Ice packs, Alieve, ace bandages and candy to cheer me up. There was no note. Like the person did a gesture out of the kindness of their heart and there was no need to thank them. I looked up and around at the people in my office and was met my his smile from ear to ear.

Although I was very reluctant at first to let him help me, he started to go with me to my doctors appointments and drove me to my physical therapy appointments. He was there for me to lean on in a way that I had never leaned on anyone before. When I had problems with my health insurance covering my bills he was the one that helped fight for me. When I found out that my knee injury was a lot more serious then we had thought and I needed surgery he was there. When I took leave from my my job, moved home for a couple of months and had to walk away from my life he was still there for me every day.

Our work friendship which had turned into a deep friendship was developing into more. Well at least it was for me.

The way future honey remembers it as is this:

"He had to try for a year and a half for me to realize that we should be together."

If interracial friends are accepted, why can't society accept interracial dating as a norm? Interracial dating: Chapter 3 More then Friends?

Our Love Story: Who pays for dinner?

I hugged future honey and "Chloe" at the gate and I was happy to see them both. I sat in my wheelchair while trying to convince them that my leg was much better. He brought the car round and Chloe waited with me to keep me company. I was sitting in the front seat next to honey and Chloe was in the back.

Throughout the car ride, we caught up and talked about funny memories. If felt like no time had passed. I found myself gazing out of the window and thinking back to when Honey and I were just friends.

We gave each other so many mixed messages during our friendship that it was like a year of being in a relationship without really knowing it. I felt so comfortable around him, but we came from such different backgrounds, experiences, religions etc.

And then there was the time that future Honey took me out a date. A date... an actual date that he had planned. The only problem was that I wasn't ready for us to date.

Future Honey asked me to dinner and I didn't think this was anything out of the ordinary. During work, we used to go out all the time to lunch and coffee. I was still dating someone else and he was seeing other girls.

That night, he picked me up and took me to his friends' Italian restaurant in the city. I remember, that he acted nervous And then it had occurred to me, that this was a date. At this time I didn't want to be more then friends with him.

His friend's restaurant was so nice. The walls were decorated with scenes of Italy, with intimate booths, candles on the table and faux vineyard grapes hanging from the ceiling. It had charm and was very quaint. As we walked through the restaurant doors, the cooks all waved to my future Honey and the owner's son came over to say hi and welcomed us. Honey was beaming from ear to ear. We sat down at a quiet booth and ordered some Chianti. He ordered me my favorite dish and made sure that we had Tiramisu for dessert.

We had finished dinner, when I realized that the check hadn't come. When I asked Honey about it, he told me that the bill had already been take care of...by him.

He started to tell me that we should start dating ...each other. I was screaming inside my head "I'm not ready yet." At the end of this perfectly thoughtful, romantic and perfect date... I told him that I wanted us to stay as friends.

On our awkward drive home, I asked him if he had told any of our friends about dinner. He picked up the phone and called one of our co-workers and told her that he tried to take me out, but we were still just friends.

He then drove me home. I walked up into my apartment to find my two housemates home. They asked me how my night had gone.

I told them that I think Honey and I had just broken up.

"But your not dating?' asked my roommates.

"Yes, but he tried to take me out and I wasn't ready so we fake broke up."We started dating about about 6 months after this night. What a story? Have you ever had such a huge misunderstanding?

Can Getting Laid Off From Your Job Be A Good Thing?

Last week my friend ‘Katie’ joined the ranks of the California unemployed. She was laid off from her agency marketing job. Over the last couple of months, I know of at least ten skilled, intelligent, creative and hard working people who were laid off from their jobs. Recently I wrote the post fifteen tips on how to support a friend after they have been laid off. But, as the times and job opportunities still have not improved, I wanted to add on to that article so you can help yourself or loved ones through the daily grind that is unemployment.

OK let's face it, our laid off friends get to make some tough decisions in their days…such as, ‘Which coffee shop should I work at today? Should I go for my run now or later in the day when the fog clears?’ Although, we’d all like to have these options, having to fill up your days without the camaraderie of co-workers or a planned work schedule can be difficult to get adjusted to.

In fact, many unemployed ask themselves, ‘Now what do I do with my days?’ Of course, it's usually Murphy's law that as soon as they start to enjoy their time off, they find full time work. My advice is to encourage your unemployed friends to create a daily schedule and fill out a list of things for the week that can be accomplished. Referring back to my earlier post, here are a 2 specifics you can do to help your friends or loved ones.

11) Point out your friend’s skills and talents. It is very easy for them to get down on themselves. Remind them that a bad experience should not define them.

The reality is your unemployed friends need frequent reminding that they are very skilled, and have a lot of talent. As soon as the job market improves they will have plenty of opportunities to choose from. Wouldn’t you feel down if you were unemployed for months and hadn't heard back from recruiters, gone on any real interviews or had any new leads on jobs even though you've been sending out tons of resumes?

15) Help them create a support system. Connect your friends to other people that you know who have been laid off. This will let them network and vent. It helps to be able to talk to someone who has gone through the same pains.

I’ve noticed recently that my unemployed friends are pulling their connections together, taking care of one another and starting to reinvent themselves. Full time work is not as available, so many are turning to their entrepreneurial side and starting new companies.

I’ve also noticed that many others are returning to having a more balanced life? Isn’t that a wonderful thing? People are reading more frequently, taking better care of themselves and spending more time with their families.

And so I ask, how can folks make the best of being laid off? What would you do with the extra time? Who would you need support from? Please read this post whenever you are feeling down and know that you are not alone.

Tips on How to Support A Friend Who Was Laid Off from Their Job

Recently I was sitting at a table for a dinner for my friend's birthday. There were eight of us celebrating and enjoying each other's company. Finally the bill came to the table. We all became silent and a little uncomfortable. It was then that I realized that four of the eight friends around that table had all been laid off from work. The current statistics are 'California jobless rates leaps to 9.3%'. With the unstable times catching up to us, I wanted to offer fifteen things that you can do to help a friend who has been laid off from their job.

When we are all working we all fantasize about all of the things that we could do if we didn't have a job. Like work out more, take that pottery class we have always wanted to take or travel the world. Well I know that at least my laundry would done and things would be very clean at home:) The reality can very different for people who all of a sudden have a lot of time on their hands. I have spoken to two friends over the last week and they have both said to me 'what do I do with all of this time?"

It is completely normal for a person to go through a grief cycle after they lose their job. The stages are: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Your friend that was laid off will also go through the 'should have, could have and would have' cycle. The faster you can help your friend start to think about their skills the better the outcome.

My tips to support a friend who has been laid off are:

1) Encourage your friend to figure out their expenses and file for unemployment. Unemployment can take up to 3 weeks to process so the sooner they file the better it can be.
2) Suggest that they start to ask their connections and jobs that they are interested in for informational interviews. These interviews can be done over the phone or over coffee. The next time someone has a job opening they will keep you in mind.
3) Offer free gym passes or deals. They can also go jogging or hiking. The exercise will keep their spirits up.
4) They can update their LinkedIn profile to show their network that they are looking for work. A lot of recruiters use LinkedIn as well so this can be a great tool in their search.
5) Continue to plan lunches with these friends. This can really lift their spirits by getting them out of the house and continuing to connect with their social circle.
6) Establishing a new routine is key. By continuing to have a schedule at home it can help keep your friend motivated and positive.
7) Put in searching for jobs every day. Build up your resume and references and start to apply. There is a lot of competition in the job market today so putting in the consistent time can keep them one step ahead of someone else.
8) Help them make a list of less expensive daily things that they can do. They can get out of the house for a coffee, see some sites or even make a weekly menu to make dinners.
9) For a very small monthly fee they can join Netflix. This can really keep your friends spirits up by watching movies at home and not spending unnecessary money by going out.
10) Let them vent and follow their lead. Try to take their calls even if you are at work. Remember it probably took a lot for them to reach out to you and you might want the same if you were in the same boat.
11) Point out your friends skills and talents. It is very easy for them to get down on themselves. Remind them that a bad experience should not define them.
12) Take them to a networking event. You never know who you will both meet.
13) Offer to help look over their resume. You can also connect them to people that you know. People are always looking for good people in the work force.
14) Encourage them to go back to school for a certificate to build up their skill set.
15) Create a support system. Connect your friends to other people that you know who have been laid off to network and vent to. They will know exactly what your friend is going through.

Do you have other pieces of advice to add for a friend that has been laid off from their job? If this has happened to you, how long did it take to get back on your feet? Do you agree with the grief cycle from the loss of a job? Thank you LipStick Diaries for your appreciation about this post.

Are work friends real?

It’s your first day at a new job and you have the usual first day jitters. You’re not sure where to put your lunch, where to sit and then you look up to see a new co-worker smiling back at you. It's your first work friend. These work smiles make my work environment something to look forward to. Yes, work is called work for a reason. I know we're hired for our abilities not because we can play well with others. And yet it’s the one co-worker who can’t share their toys with others that seem to make work life a more difficult experience.

When we are in grade school, we bond with the other students in our class so this seems natural in our adult work settings. Once you've learned to give and take, work friendships start developing.

Which reminds me of a great work memory... (Click here to check out some of my fav day at the office pics).

A couple of years ago I was working in a very fast paced, politically savvy and difficult advertising agency. And yet what made me happy was the friendship I created with my adjoining cube mate. My days were a lot happier with her sitting there. And when things got tough with the group I was working with, she was there to help cushion the blow. Within months, our work relationship turned friendly with dinners and chats. And about a year and a half later I stood up for her in her wedding.

But how did this work friendship develop from a work reference to a life long friend? It’s amazing to me how some work friends become casual followers on LinkedIn and you can never have a conversation with them again. Isn't this the way that social media works?

We feel connected without seeing the person again.

What is it about a work environment that makes you feel so closed off? Is it because we sit behind computers and email each other more then we talk? I bumped into a woman in the restroom today and asked how she was even though she sits across from me!

Some of my past co-workers I think of and smile. Some have gotten married, had babies and moved on to other jobs. Work friends exist because we are in the trenches together, but do you think that these friendships can last throughout time? Do you think work friends are real friends?

Summer interview with my lil sis

Hope you are having a great summer. Well I just come back from a week with my family in L.A. and watched my little brother and sister spend their last days of summer. I love sitting down and documenting D who is a talkative, fashionable, funny, sarcastic little diva and the baby of our family. Can you imagine what it would be like going into 8th grade with an older sister twenty years older then you? (Check out these other interviews I did with D a last year)

So take it away D tell us all about your summer thoughts...

What have you done this summer D?

Hanging out with friends, went on vacation a little bit, went shopping twice a week, water parks, sleepovers, cheer, went to the beach with friends, amusement parks and swimming.

Are you excited for the summer to end?

No, because school is boring and I can't talk during class, but yes because I want to see all of my friends.

Would you have rather gone to camp?

No, I have a strong passionate dislike for camp because they tell you what to do and I'm not with my friends. Since I'm older, this summer I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted like walk to lunch or take the bus to the beach.

*Photo taken by Julie Michelle.

How did you occupy your time and manage your money?

I occupied my time by hanging out with friends every week so every day I hung out with a different friend. I also got $25 a week to spend.

So D did your understanding of money change?

Sometimes I had a lot of the $25 left over and sometimes I spent it all. Getting the allowance taught me how to not to spend it all in one day and if I had more one week then I could use it the next week.

Are you looking forward to the 8th grade? What do you think it will be like?

I'm so excited for 8th grade and I think it's going to be the best year of middle school because it's the last year. We will be in charge of the school, but it won't be too fun because they banned cell phones from school 'cause so many kids were texting in class.

What was it like coming to San Francisco and being a bridesmaid at your sister's wedding?

It was fun and the Hindu ceremony was very long. We got to walk around, talk and not have to sit the entire time. I liked my outfits. It was an honor to be there for you Lala as a bridesmaid.

Thank you so much little sis D. We all loved reading about your summer fun and I can't wait to hear about 8th grade. How will you survive without your cell phone? Tell me sweetie doesn't this interview remind you of your grade school summer fun?

The Hilarious Story of my Sorority Initiation: Part 2

I had just been kidnapped by five sorority girls and taken to their Alpha Phi sorority house. The women were telling me about belonging to their sisterhood sorority and how great it is to do philanthropy work for their community. I was eighteen, alone, had only one friend and before me were fifty women encouraging me to join them. And at only sixty dollars a month, I too could have access to all of the friends in the Greek community. So I thought about it and then asked myself 'Who needs school books, food or clothes? I had friends.' And then I signed on the Alpha Phi dotted line.

To become apart of Alpha Phi, I committed to paying their monthly dues, attend weekly meetings, keep my grades up, I agreed to wear a pledge pin over my heart for a semester until I was initiated and I needed to learn and be tested on the history of the founding father's of the sorority. There were also some unspoken rules like you couldn't date another sister's guy. But that should be a given right? Well, I quickly learned not always a given for everyone.

There were some unspoken rules too. I would get hazed, but couldn't tell anyone about it, I needed to attend a certain amount of fraternity parties and I had to keep the handshake and knock a secret. (I will carry this to my grave :))

I also became a little sister to a big sister already in the sorority. My big sister looked out for me, helped me study throughout pledging, gave me a sorority nickname and would introduce me at initiation.

After a semester of doing all of this, it was time for me to be initiated. Our initiation was held at a fellow sister's family home. I invited my family to initiation. My father, step-mother, my aunt and uncle and my brother all came. I was so excited to introduce them to my new friends and college life.

During the ceremony our big sister would introduce us to our seated family and friends, hand us a red rose and then take off our pledge pin. The Alpha Phi little sisters wore white dresses and big sisters wore black. Please remember that I was still under the 'I love you Alpha Phi' spell when I noticed that my family was starting to snicker. I waved at them and they tried to hold back their laughter. 'Oh no,' I thought 'I was in trouble.' One by one little and big sisters would go up to get initiated. My family seemed to loose it more and more.

The spell was truly broken when a petite girl went up to introduce her little sister. She opened her mouth to say nice things about her little sister, but the voice that came out of her was the voice of Tweety Bird. My family lost it. I think my brother and uncle fell off of their chair and my father was laughing so hard that he had tears rolling down his face.

After the ceremony was over, I introduced my family to my new friends. Everyone kept saying yes we know who your family is and 'ah yes' with looks of disapproval on their face. I had regained my sanity and depledged a semester later. Ah good times had by all.

Dr. Laura's Advice: Part 2 Raising Childen with Consequences

Part 1 of Raising Children with Consequences was about the first time I heard about "Mark". Mark was presented at our social worker meeting as an at risk child. He was twelve years old, in middle school and was just suspended from school for picking fights. His parents were teenagers when they had him - they married shortly after but were divorced before Mark was two. His mother was out of the family picture after she left home when Mark was three years old. Mark was raised by his very young father and grandparents. During this time Mark's father entered into a gang and got into a lot of trouble when he was a teenager. He had been arrested three times when I first met him. Mark showed signs of dyslexia in class and had never had one on one attention at school for a teacher to realize that he had a learning disability. Mark's dyslexia made him feel slower and not as smart as the other students in his class. This angered him. After some testing and a one on one tutor Mark showed that he could learn. What consequences did I introduce to help Mark succeed in his life?

It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment that Mark made a turn around in his life, but he did. After months of Mark taking steps forward and taking some steps backwards, he showed signs of improvement at school and in his relationships. I first noticed the improvement when his grades started to improve. So did Mark's attendance to school. Instead of being absent from class 3 times a week he was not only in class most of the week, but participating. He felt comfortable with his female tutor and started to learn how to work with, not against, his dyslexia.

In our therapy sessions, he started to open up. In each session he was able to go deeper and deeper into his feelings. He had some blow ups, but he learned the consequences. If he took his anger out on me or left the therapy session we would skip the next session. He seemed to respond to this.

Because of all of his hard work he was starting to make school friends although he was still worried about bringing his new friends home to meet his father. I suggested that he and his new friends go out to movies or to ballgames. Only when he was ready should he introduce his friends to his father. He also started to have feelings for a girl in his class. This was a huge improvement as the only people that he had been interested in were his female tutor or therapists. He felt good that he wasn't setting himself to fail, but to succeed.

One of my proudest moments of my time with Mark was when he got an after school job. The positive reinforcement that he felt by making his own money, gaining responsibility and following through really helped his self esteem. He was able to work the job for several months before being let go due to tardiness which was a good consequence of his own actions.

As Mark made more and more improvement our time together started to end. The need for me to shadow him had changed. I stayed in touch with one of his therapists "Lacey" and years later she told me that Mark had graduated from high school which was a huge accomplishment. I felt a true sense of pride. Then she told me that Mark's father had returned to jail and Mark was now living with his grandparents

I believe that each person that we come in contact with helps shape us. Do you agree? Would you like me to write more about the cases I worked on as a social worker? What are your thoughts about Mark?

Travel Picture: The Big Apple New York, NY

I decided to buy a ticket at last minute, a couple of years ago, to see New York during Christmas and New Year's. My red eye flight on Jetblue only cost $399 from Los Angeles to JFK. Wow, times have changed! I remember arriving Christmas morning in New York, completely unprepared for the cold that hit me, as I left the warm airport and went to hail a cab. I was also wearing a purple scarf which told New Yorkers, well everybody, that I was a HUGE tourist. (Come on I was living in L.A. at the time. At least I brought a warm coat which my friend forgot!) I learned fast, that in a New York winter, wearing a color seems not be to be an option. Not to worry, I caught onto this quick and told the cabbies that I lived in Queens. I call this one, The Spider Man Times Square shot. I loved how the picture was taken from under a building. (Taken 12/2006)

If you look closely, Spider Man is about to swing through. After driving in from the airport, we went and visited Times Square. The sun was just peaking through the clouds and the snow was about to fall. Most people seemed to be at home, as it was Christmas day. So it was a great, but slower, not as touristy visit to Times Square.

Snowy playground near Little Italy New York, NY (Taken 1/1/2007)

The first day of 2007, was a very cold and peaceful start to the year. We were walking towards Little Italy, when we walked past this playground. I loved the contrast between the white snow and the colorful graffiti. I also loved how no one had walked on the snow yet. Virgin snow, that still looked like a warm blanket.


This is my Greenwich Village, Spain Restaurant Mood Shot (Taken 12/2006)

My friends that were living in New York at the time, were all out of town and migrated to the warmer weather. So the only people I knew, where my friends parent's and some dance friends still in town. I went to my friends father's restaurant in Greenwich Village for lunch. Go there if you have a chance and ask for Mr. Marques.
http://newyork.metromix.com/restaurants/spanish/spain-restaurant-greenwich-village/55368/content

Next time you are going to visit New York, be sure to bring your colorful scarves, visit when no one you know is in town and remember to bring your camera, so you can see some of these shots.

Calling all love stories: Emerald Dandy

There's always been something really lovely about mister Emerald Dandy and I am proud to say he has become one of my blogging friends. If you haven't seen his Seattle blog then please check it out soon. He has such a wonderful and fresh way of seeing the world. And he wanted to share with you his love story. Take it away ED...

~
It all begins when I had first moved into my building nearly 2 years ago. I was busy unloading my car of my boxes and hiking them up the stairs, when I was startled by a man and his dog. The dog gave a little bark which set off my nerves, but the man himself was truly stunning. I was excited to move into my apartment, knowing that there was at least "one" attractive gentleman in the building.

Without too much work I was able to see that this man lived in our courtyard (which I had to walk past everyday to reach my apartment), with another man... most likely his boyfriend. It didn't stop me from always trying to catch a glimpse of this gorgeous man; I always hoped he'd see me, but I never seemed lucky enough. After about 6 months I switched to a different apartment in the building, so my daily hunt ended.

I didn't think too much of it, until I discovered that one of my close friends was moving into HIS apartment. Apparently, he had broken up with his boyfriend, and the boyfriend had moved back to Texas. He no longer needed that apartment, so he moved into something smaller within the building. I had no idea where he had moved, but liked the idea that he was still here (AND single!)

After a night out with friends and talking about boys, I was dared to somehow strike up a conversation with my apartment-crush. Since I hadn't seen him in awhile and hadn't a clue where he lived, I tried something borderline stalker-ish. I scribbled a quick note on a napkin which said "Hey, I think you're cute. Would love to hang out with you some time. Xoxo, your secret admirer." and left it on his car parked in the garage. I'm not sure what I was thinking, as this was a large complex and trying to figure out who his secret admirer would have been similar to finding a needle in a haystack.

Since my note was general, I attempted by writing another. This time I left my name, apartment, and phone number. I couldn't believe I went through with this, but I figured what the hell?! Within a few days I received a text from him, and before you know it we were chatting.

For two weeks we were texting back and forth so I finally said "So are we ever going to actually meet, or continue to play this game?" and he responded by setting a date. Simple and easy, a BBQ date up on the roof. I was a little nervous, but was excited to meet him. I didn't actually think I stood a chance with him, but was stoked to see what would happen.

The evening of our "date" was perfect timing for me. I had just ended a disastrous friendship/relationship so I was excited for some type of distraction. I'll never forget when Chace and I actually met. I opened the door to the rooftop, and there he was. The look on his face was priceless... it was as if I stopped him dead in his tracks.

The first date was slightly awkward, as first dates tend to be. I quickly discovered why he had initially reacted the way he had. Turns out I wasn't the only one that was doing some "stalking."

While Chace was living in the courtyard, he remembered seeing this cute guy walk by, and hoped to get his attention, but ended up unsuccessful. One night while he was out walking his dog he glanced up at his building and noticed this guy wearing nothing but a towel; he had just discovered where the boy lived and was intrigued. While he was in his apartment he was always hoping to catch a glimpse of the boy walking past the courtyard, and while he was walking his dog he hoped to see him in his apartment. Suddenly, the boy had moved away, and he had figured his fantasy was over.

Boy was he wrong, because he was having a BBQ with that same boy! The date went well and we've been together ever since!

Our Story: The Story of How We Met

If you had told me, 3 years ago, that I would be in an interracial relationship for two years, I would have never believed you. My interracial relationship turned from a friendship to dating to falling in love and now to moving forward in life together. This has been one of the most fulfilling relationships of my life. Interracial dating does come with many complications and can lead to many questions for everyone that is involved. Here is the story of my experience.

How we met? I met my honey 3 years ago. I was recruiting to form a new group, for one of the top banks in the U.S. He was one of two thousand resumes that I had looked at. He looked very promising on paper to me, but he looked very green in his experience. (He had just finished school.) What I remember very clearly, was that I was working for an Indian boss and he had wanted mostly Indian men for the positions of this new group. I couldn’t pronounce my future honey’s name. I had never seen his name, knew how to pronounce it or how to write it, until I saw it on his resume. I had to ask my Indian boss several times to help me with pronouncing his name.

Honey and my first interactions were over email. I was interested in him for one of the junior analyst positions. He and I wrote very professional emails back and forth. I just had a feeling about him being the right fit for the group. He was persistent on email, followed up with me every two weeks and I convinced the boss to interview him.

The day I met my future honey, he was wearing a suit that was way too big for him. I thought he looked like he was playing dress up in his father’s suit. He had one of the warmest and most genuine smiles I had ever seen. From the moment that I met him, I just wanted to give him a hug. Instead, I escorted him down to one of the conference rooms for his interview, got him some water and hoped for the best.

Future honey, was hired on a contract basis into the bank. ( He was hired into the bank full time and won service awards. Sorry to brag a little.) He sat in a cubicle behind me and we started talking daily and became work friends.

How did this casual work relationship become one of the most meaningful relationships of my life? If interracial friends are accepted, why can't society accept interracial dating as a norm?

Stay tuned for the Chapter 2 called Work Friends First.

Can Step families Work? My Little Sister Interview

I have been asked many times why I don't have children yet. Other then waiting for the right time, I was lucky enough to be given two bonus siblings when my Father remarried. My little brother was born when I was 19 and then my sister was born when I was 20. It was then, that I made the decision that I would fully participate in their lives.

They mean the world to me and I feel so close to both of them. In a blink they are now in Junior High and almost in High School. On my most recent trip home to visit my family, I sat with my little sister and interviewed her for Under the Sheets-Shhh and for you.

D is a very talkative, fashionable, funny, sarcastic little diva that is very maternal at heart and the baby of our family. Can you imagine what it would be like to be in Junior High with an older sister twenty years older then you?

OK D inquiring minds want to know..... take it away.

Interview

How old are you and where were you born? Twelve and raised in Woodland Hills, Ca.

What grade are you now in? I'm in sixth grade.

Do you like school? No. Because it’s boring and I don’t get to talk. Teachers are not understanding of my need to socialize.

What job do you want to have when you're older? A hairdresser because I have liked styling and cutting hair ever since I was little. I use to try to cut my dolls hair, but it wouldn't grow back:) I'd like to work in a salon in Paris not on movie sets. Lala remember when I use to put all of those clips in your hair and I made your head bleed? I was practicing for my future clients.

Do you believe in marriage? And do you want to have children? I believe in marriage and I don’t want to have kids. I want to adopt. I do not want to go through all the pain of giving birth. Even though I would adopt a child, I would love it as if it was mine. Marriage is for me because I picture myself when I’m older (28 yrs. Old) living with my loving family (my husband, my loving child and my Jack Russel).

Where do you think you'll be in five years? In five years I will be 17 years old and I will be a senior in high school. I’ll be a preppy cheerleader, with an awesome boyfriend and friends. I want to go to college, but I dream of going to a hair dressing college for my certificate in hair.

What are you favorite book, artists, movies and TV shows?

Kanye West, Flo Rider, Colbie Caillat, PussyCat Dolls, Rihanna, The Clique Series, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Pimp My Ride, Parental Control, My Name is Earl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Date Movie, DodgeBall.

What is your favorite food? Pizza, French fries and Ice cream. (chocolate malted crunch)

How do you feel about fashion and what are your favorite stores and designers? I love clothes, but I hate sewing. I use to love dressing up my dolls in cute outfits. The reason that I wake up in the morning is to get dressed. My favorite stores are: Hollister, Hot Topic, Abercrombie and Victoria Secret.

Do you know what a recession is? Yes, its something to do with the economy. Lots of people are being laid off now and some businesses are going bankrupt.

What are your thoughts about President Obama? I think he is a loyal president. I believe he has the power to run our country.

What is it like to have an older sister that is twenty-one years apart from you? Its kinda weird having you be so much older than me, but I can talk to you about anything.

How important are your friends to you? My friends are very important to me. I love them and I don’t know what I would do without them.

Thank you so much D for sharing your thoughts with us. Can I be your first client at your Paris hair salon if you promise not to make my head bleed? Oh and if you haven't already please join our Facebook Northern Califorinia Blogger Network. We are very excited about our new group and you can become a founding member. Stay tuned for my little brother's interview on Tuesday April 21sr.

All you need is love & blogging friends!

A couple of months ago, I asked some of my blogger friends to guest post. That way I can take a mini blogging break during our wedding and honeymoon. And I loved getting the support and seeing the creative posts that were sent. Some of the guest posts are about love stories, brides in cinema, romance in pictures, how couples met and the differences between new and old love.

I am excited to share with you some lovely new bloggers so you can see their blogs. Each have been there for Under the Sheets~shhh throughout the year.

So as I sign off for a couple of weeks, just know I will have a ton of new posts to share with you and hopefully some lovely wedding pictures.

Be sure to let me know which guest blogger is your favorite and who you felt connected to.

And on our wedding, I hope to be surrounded like these cake toppers with our family and friends. I am excited to feel the love, care and support.

Have a wonderful couple of weeks sweeties and I hope you feel entertained by some new and talented bloggers. Signing off for now~engaged, but married in less than a week. Boy is there still a lot to do...

Top ten reasons you know you’ve been in Toronto for too long….

I’m having a great time visiting my family and friends and interviewing some great photographers and stylists for my lovely readers. I have had my fill of ketchup chips, been to a few brunches and have had several people hold the door open for me…. which leads me to want to write the top ten reasons you know you’ve been in Toronto for too long…

(Click here to read the top ten reasons you've lived in Los Angeles for too long...)

10) After getting asked out on a date, you check their facebook ‘friends’ before accepting their dinner invitation.

9) You have three sets of friends; Childhood, work and camp (from when you were 12)

8) Throughout the day, you tune into the weather channel and to keep up-to-date on the five-day forecast. A girl has to know the difference between a snowstorm and just flurries.

7) In your closet you have two sets of clothes, one for the winter and for summer.

6) During the winter, you know which pair of warm boots to wear just by looking at the sky (e.g., goulashes vs. ski boots vs. Uggs etc.).

5) You’ve seen only one fire engine and police car in six months. On the news it looks like there are shootouts on every corner.

4) When asked for directions from a tourist, you use different Bagel Worlds and Tim Horton’s as landmarks.

3) You joined a hockey league eh!

2) Every Sunday you only wear, or go shopping for, lululemon pants.

And the number 1 reason you know you’ve been in Toronto too long is: The smell of a Panzerotto reminds you of your childhood.

Moving From Canada to America: The O.C.

Imagine that you are fourteen years old, living in Toronto, Ontario and really excited to start high school with all of your childhood friends in the Fall. Your parent's sit you and your brother down to tell you that your family is going to be moving away. I thought to myself "OK we're moving neighborhoods again." And then the bomb was dropped. Your family is going to be moving countries. We assumed that it's going to take months to prepare a move like this. We were wrong. My family was moving from metropolitan city Toronto to beach town Newport Beach, California in the next month.

My brother and I knew that my parent's were having marital problems, but we had no idea that they would make the decision for all of us to move Countries. My father was working with his brother at the time on his accounting business software so my father was able to arrange a work visa for himself and try to open up an office in the States. Instead of my parent's separating again they decided that they would give it another try and move us away for a fresh start.

My brother and I were shocked. First we knew were going to miss our childhood friends. Second we couldn't imagine our new home as we had never been to Newport Beach before. We had been to Disneyland and had visited L.A. once, but I had never thought that we would move to California. Third we wondered if our parent's would stay together as they were having many problems. Of course we were willing to try, but we were very scared of the change. My mother told us at least we all have each other.

At the time there were no shows like Laguna Beach or The O.C for us to reference. (Everyone always asks me what was it like going to high school in Newport Beach. And yes it was similar to the shows. Crazy I know.)

After a lot of tearful goodbyes to our friends and family, we sold our house (within weeks), stored our furniture, took our dog and flew to California. Saying that the O.C. was a culture shock to us would be an understatement. We went from Maple Trees to Palm Trees. From boots to sandals and skiing to surfing. I wondered if we would ever fit in.

My family enjoyed a sun filled month on the beach while getting to know our new area. (I know it sounds horrible, but not to worry we managed :) Newport Beach seemed to make their women and teenagers very different to Toronto. They were perfect, with perfect hair and makeup and always wearing workout pants. My mother and I had also noticed that in the magazines there were a lot plastic surgery ads. And this was in 1990.

Our first day of school seemed to come very fast. On my first day of High School, I tried to wear my hippest California outfit which consistent of a Betty Boop top and matching cut off jeans. (Oh the horror!)

Together I remember my brother and I walking up the foreign steps to our new school. This school was completely different to any we had known as it had outside lockers and an Olympic pool for water polo. We took a deep breath and entered the sea of faces that we had never seen before.

I will never forget seeing sandals on the feet of almost all of the students and some of the teachers. To me they looked like Flinestone shoes and they were wearing them with socks. I stopped a student that was younger then me and asked her about the sandals. She told us that they were called Birkenstock's.We had never seen them before so I asked her why would they be worn with shorts and socks. She looked at me like I was crazy and responded " The socks are to keep their feet warm from the sandals. Duh!"

The new Canadians had officially arrived. What was it like when you moved to a new city or Country? Do you think it's harder to move as a child or as an adult? * I took the above photo of Laguna Beach in the midday sun. It's one of my favorites.

Five Questions Link Back Contest

I love getting to know my blogging friends better. So I am reaching out to you with five questions that I hope you will answer on your blog. Post these five questions and your answers on your blog, link back to Under the Sheets-shhh and comment back to me when you’re done. I promise to link to your post.

The Five Questions Are:
1) What topic would you write your book about?
2) What is one of your guilty pleasures?
3) What are some of the things you do to get yourself out of a bad mood?
4) How long do you think it will take to get the U.S. economy back on track?
5) Do you think there is a fine line between creepy and romantic?

Here are the answers to my own questions:

1) Writing a book one day has always been a dream of mine. Growing up, I thought my Father and I would write a book together about our experiences with manic depression. I have always wanted to show that no matter what has happened in your life you can pull through. Today, I believe that I would write more of an inspirational book to spread the message of hope. (Maybe I could negotiate a book signing in Italy).
2) One of my guilty pleasures is reading People magazine and I must admit that I’ve read it for years. I grab People and Time magazine at the airport, just before plane rides. These magazines seem to fill my need for gossip and news. What would I do without those in-depth People magazine interviews? Not to worry I can catch up online. (Please keep this our little secret.)
3) I do a couple of things to help me when I am in a bad mood. I usually reach out to my family and friends and talk about my negative feelings. Sometimes I take a step back, go for a walk/jog or listen to music and write. And other times, I let myself stay a little down that day which helps me appreciate the better days.
4) I have heard and read many conflicting things about how long it will take to get the U.S. economy back on track. At this point I am hoping for things to be better by the end of the year, for my friends to start working again and for stores to stop closing. I believe that we have many years ahead for the economy to go back to the way it once was.
5) I do think there is a fine line between creepy and romantic. For example, when you’re on your second date with someone and he hands you the phone to talk to his family. This could be taken as creepy or romantic.

Now it’s your turn to enter the five questions link back contest and I am looking forward to reading your answers. Go on you can do it…share with me one of your guilty pleasures.

Top ten fancy camping checklist

I must admit to you that I've never been camping? Am I missing out on something sweetie? Don't be too shocked and please its not polite to have your mouth open so wide!

It wasn't always like this. If you had asked me this embarrassing question about camping before I moved to San Francisco I would have said yes. Doesn't overnight summer camp in the Northern Ontario forests count for four years?

Ah it so doesn't.

My Canadian experience of camping is completely different to my Bay Area friends. Camp Tamarack was a four star camp that kept their campers in cabins, eating in a dining hall, tennis courts, swimming in the lake and participating in summer plays. The only true camping part that I remember were the massive mosquito's and canoe trips.

But have I ever slept on the floor of a tent in a sleeping bag under the stars? Honestly sweetie, maybe once. Or have I ever thrown myself down a river for hopes that I'll stay on the rafting boat and lived to tell the tale?

Come on seriously, me?

But mark my words, I would go camping if I had some of the comforts of home. So let's list them for my camping friends. To bring me along I would need the following...

Top ten fancy camping checklist

1) My flat iron (What there aren't any outlets at a campsite?)

2) Jelly shoes for the shower (The lake is the bath...this has to be a joke!)

3) My Tempur-Pedic Swedish neck pillow

4) Sigg water bottle

5) Sunblock with at least 30 SPF

6) Prescription coach sunglasses

7) Music

8) Grill

9) Bug net

10) Toilet paper

And now that you know my dark secret about camping, do you think we can still be friends lovely? Can you answer these questions then...is camping something I just haven't been introduced to properly and where do you plug in the flat iron?

Adults Santa Letter: Have I Been Naughty or Nice?

Dear Santa It Wasn't Me: I think I was both naughty and nice this year and would like a naughty and nice present from you. After looking over my lists can you tell me if you think I was good or bad girl?

This has been a great year for me which was filled with lot's of learning, love and laughter. And with only 10 days until Christmas, I was hoping that you could let some of my indiscretions slide. I won't tell you if don't! If you agree to keep some of these secrets between us then I promise to spread your Christmas cheer by eating a lot of candy canes. Deal?

Should I start off with my naughty or nice list?

Uh I think naughty of course!

My Naughty List

1) I've had impure thoughts. Very impure.
2) I didn't eat all of my vegetables on my plate.
3) I opened wide for the dentist.
4) I told my father to get his own slippers. Twice.
5) I might have said some unkind thoughts about Sarah Palin.
6) I swore too much and I don't feel bad about it, at all.
7) I might have put a Hanukkah ornament on the Christmas tree.
8) Forgive me, but I loved the 50 foot larger then life picture of David Beckham wearing only his underwear over Macy's in Union Square.
9) I spread the holiday cheer by having too many drinks at my work holiday party.
10) Vixen is my favorite reindeer.

My Nice List

1) This year I traveled to see lots of friends and family.
2) Santa, I promise to leave you "No Pudge Fudge" under the Christmas tree.
3) I listened and was a good friend to friends' and helped with their problems.
4) I pretended to be the penny fairy and dropped pennies as I walked down the street for others to find.
5) My room usually sparkles like tinsel on a Christmas tree.
6) I helped old ladies cross the street.
7) I raised money and gave my heart and soul to the AFSP.
8) I gave up my seat on the bus to my elders even though my knee was hurting.
9) If you get trapped in my chimney I promise I will help you out.
10) I did all of my chores and even enjoyed doing them.

Santa please bring lot's of gifts to my blogging friends. You can give them my presents. (Well maybe we can talk about that offline :))

Tell me do you think I've been naughty or nice? What kind of I present do I deserve from Santa this year?