Going back to school retro style

Parents it's almost time for your vacation because the kids are going back to school. Yeah...oh sorry kiddies! I keep hearing from parents that the summers seem to be getting longer, but not from my best friend R the teacher. Well I wish everyone a great back to school year and may you go back with a little retro style...

In school crayons were my favorite so I could color outside of the box. I can still remember the day when I discovered the Glitter and Metallic crayons (seen here on Amazon). My world was rocked and my cheerleader signs got bigger and more colorful. Read about my cheerleader days in this moving from Canada to America post.

Choosing the first day of school outfit was such an ordeal. I sat on the phone with both my girl and guy friends to determine the right look. Some things never change huh? I still feel like this when I start a new job.



For a back to school retro look, every child needs a pair of high socks with a lunchbox. Pair the socks with a Catholic Girl skirt and you'll be the talk of the school. Unless you actually go to Catholic School!

Lunch is another difficult thing to control on your first day. Parents can pack the lunch and add some fun colorful paper cups to hold the food. Let's leave the toothpicks out...ok?

Back to school fashion is fun for girls. A dress with matching tights and clunky dark boots makes for an adorable outfit.

Paper Mate pens are a colorful way of going retro in school.

Oh how I miss having this school desk with my friends around me. Maybe I should get one of these desks for home. Would I even fit anymore?

Is it creepy or cute for an adult to carry a lunchbox sweetie?

To all the kiddies and parents out there, happy almost back to school week. You've all hung in there so well. No go out there and buy some back to school retro fashions that would make me proud! I know you can do it. What was the item you just had to have for school when you were a child lovely?

Summer interview with my lil sis

Hope you are having a great summer. Well I just come back from a week with my family in L.A. and watched my little brother and sister spend their last days of summer. I love sitting down and documenting D who is a talkative, fashionable, funny, sarcastic little diva and the baby of our family. Can you imagine what it would be like going into 8th grade with an older sister twenty years older then you? (Check out these other interviews I did with D a last year)

So take it away D tell us all about your summer thoughts...

What have you done this summer D?

Hanging out with friends, went on vacation a little bit, went shopping twice a week, water parks, sleepovers, cheer, went to the beach with friends, amusement parks and swimming.

Are you excited for the summer to end?

No, because school is boring and I can't talk during class, but yes because I want to see all of my friends.

Would you have rather gone to camp?

No, I have a strong passionate dislike for camp because they tell you what to do and I'm not with my friends. Since I'm older, this summer I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted like walk to lunch or take the bus to the beach.

*Photo taken by Julie Michelle.

How did you occupy your time and manage your money?

I occupied my time by hanging out with friends every week so every day I hung out with a different friend. I also got $25 a week to spend.

So D did your understanding of money change?

Sometimes I had a lot of the $25 left over and sometimes I spent it all. Getting the allowance taught me how to not to spend it all in one day and if I had more one week then I could use it the next week.

Are you looking forward to the 8th grade? What do you think it will be like?

I'm so excited for 8th grade and I think it's going to be the best year of middle school because it's the last year. We will be in charge of the school, but it won't be too fun because they banned cell phones from school 'cause so many kids were texting in class.

What was it like coming to San Francisco and being a bridesmaid at your sister's wedding?

It was fun and the Hindu ceremony was very long. We got to walk around, talk and not have to sit the entire time. I liked my outfits. It was an honor to be there for you Lala as a bridesmaid.

Thank you so much little sis D. We all loved reading about your summer fun and I can't wait to hear about 8th grade. How will you survive without your cell phone? Tell me sweetie doesn't this interview remind you of your grade school summer fun?

Did I change my name after marriage?

I wrote a post back in September called, Should I change my name after marriage? I loved all of your comments as they were diverse and candid. Just the way I like comments! What I learned is there really are no rules in needing to change your name for marriage. It's all about personal preference.

And as long as you think out of the box then why not behave the same way about this name changing tradition?

I've known my Honey for five years (1 1/2 as friends and then 3 1/2 years as a couple) so I've had plenty of time to think about this. And yes I doodled on my notebook what my married name would look like countless times. And over the years Honey and I have discussed our feelings about my name change. And neither of us were set either way.

One day Honey made the suggestion that I take his last name as my middle name so I have a double-barrelled last name. For me this is the best of both worlds. For now I can keep my last name for work and google searches, but can be Mrs. Honey as well. His suggestion just felt right and we moved forward with the change the day we got our marriage license.

So I did change my name for marriage, but in my 'out of the box' way that works for me/us.

Here are some of my favorite post comments that really stood out:

Meagan said...

Lost of comments on this one. You have a lot to think about. I am getting married in a few weeks and am so excited to change my name. It is weird to think that my children and people I meet in the future will only know me by my husband's last name. That the name that is my identity will slowly disappear. I plan to keep it around a little on magazine subscriptions or library cards. I am changing it because its a tradition and if you are doing the tradition of getting married I think you should go all the way with it. I want to be announced that day as Mr and Mrs. I also feel like changing my name is putting trust in my husband to take care of me and our future children. Be the head of the household. Good luck!

The Good Cook said...

I took my husband's name. It meant so much to him and it really made me feel like a "wife" and part of a whole new team identity. Our children have my maiden name as their middle name, keeping it alive!

Sarah said...

You do realize that your children are not required to have your husband's last name, right? They can have yours just as easily. Heck, make one up for them if you want.

Also, I grew up with a different name than my mother (she remarried when I was five, but I didn't change my name). Guess what? It was no big deal. Ever. No one ever got confused or thought that she wasn't really my mom. Maybe fifty years ago it would have seemed odd, but it certainly doesn't now.

If you don't want to change your last name, but want your children to have yours, then give them yours. If you don't want to change your last name, but want the kids to have Daddy's name, then let them have it and don't worry about it. If you want a new name but don't want to fall into the patriarchal trap of being known only by your husband's name, come up with a new name for the whole family and make your husband go through the whole name-changing mess with you. Think outside the box! You're not limited to your grandmother's traditions.
~
So what are your thoughts about changing your name for marriage? Out of the three comments, which do you relate to the most?

We all scream for ice cream

Why do children have habits...like watching certain TV shows and eating the same ice cream over and over. Last week my co-workers reminded me of my habits. We were talking about the cartoons we used to watch as kids. My fav was Jem and the Holograms and I would race home to catch a new episode. Yes, Jem was truly outrageous.

I also remember when my brother and I were kids; he had a particular way of eating ice cream. His favorite was bubble gum ice cream from Baskin-Robbins, but it was his ritual of eating the yummy goodness that I will never forget.

Have you ever had bubble gum ice cream as an adult? It's an acquired taste I think only children can understand...

My brother would SO look forward to eating his ice cream. He would first place a white paper napkin down on the table. Then he would start to eat the ice cream and remove each and every piece of bubble gum and place it on the napkin. Once this was done, he would eat the rest of his ice cream and sugar cone. His last step was the rewarding one.

He would shove all of the bubble gum pieces into his mouth and chew for hours.

Imagine my brother covered in ice cream colors. The colors on his white T-shirt were from the pink ice cream and the blue dye from the bubble gum. As an adult, my brother decided to go vegan. I laughed out loud when he told me because all I could picture was his seven-year-old self covered in ice cream.

"You scream, we scream, we all scream for ice scream!" My brother never stopped being a character and his addiction to Baskin-Robbins should have been my first tip! I can't wait to hear what kind of habits you had as a kid...

Calling all creative children and fashionistas!

Children are some much fun and lovely fashionistas. Well, is it the children or the mommies that are the fashion divas? And if you know me, it's safe to say that I love all things boutique design, retro and colorful. Come along with me as I imagine through pictures a day in the life of a creative child....

These colorful plates would make a wonderful addition to a kitchen or playroom. And easy to make, creative and loads of fun to use. In fact, I think I'll do this to my registry wedding china when I get them. Hmmm maybe not.

This picture has a warm and playful design to it. It's almost like the children were just called out to play and quickly put their things down.

I love how bright eyed this little one is. But secretly I must have this outfit for myself. What a fashionista!



I feel a little confused by this pic. How easy would this be if the children's clothes were hanging in the family room? If your child spilled some juice they could change their clothes near the T.V. Ah we can dream can't we?

* Retro kids play kitchen can be found at NexTag

*Retro Knits: Cool Vintage Patterns for Men, Women, and Children from the 1900s through the 1970s

*Picture taken from the site inbabitots. Such a cute site!

Oh I enjoyed calling on the creative children fashionistas! Of course kids don't have to dress up all the time, but once in awhile why not? I believe creatively dressed and boutique design helps create creative kids. Tell me sweetie, how would it look it I had one of those small retro fridges in my kitchen?

Never too old for a sleepover

When I was a child, I used to love sleepovers… didn’t you? I seemed to enjoy them more then my friends because of my difficult childhood. It was wonderful to walk into someone else’s family for a night and relax. This got me thinking, about a funny childhood memory I have from when I was ten and slept over at 'Michelle’s' house.

Michelle and I met in the second grade and became fast friends. I loved her red hair, freckles and she danced in the same ballet class as me. We had a lot in common.

Then the invitation came that I had been waiting for all summer; she wanted me to sleepover at her house. I was nervous to ask my mother, as her moods would change due to her manic depression. The stars must have been aligned for me that day because she agreed that a sleepover was a good idea.

The details of that long ago sleepover are now fuzzy, but what does stand out was Michelle's waterbed. Have you ever slept on a waterbed? Those beds can make you feel like you're on a cruise ship every time you lay down.

No wonder I wanted to sleepover at her house so badly.

That was my first time sleeping in a waterbed and I remember lying down in her comforter and feeling relaxed. The gentle movement of the waves rocked me to sleep. I enjoyed it so much that I started to wonder how was I going to convince my parents that I too needed a waterbed.

Until…I woke up in the middle of night and I felt wet. I quickly woke up Michelle to see if she felt wet too and she did. We jumped out of the bed to find that her cat had jumped on the bed while we were sleeping and had pinched a tiny hole. Our bed/cruise ship was sinking.

We woke up Michelle’s parents with our screaming and her Dad patched up the hole. The next morning Michelle and her parents apologized to me profusely. I didn’t mind and actually enjoyed the experience, but decided to not ask my parents to add any water to my existing Laura Ashley bed. On the brighter side, I was totally prepared for the family cruise that we went on later that year. Thank you Michelle! Share with me one of your sleepover memories... go on it wasn't that long ago!

My favorite teacher

Why do certain teachers stay in your heart, no matter how many years go by? Teachers salaries are usually paid in hope for their student's futures. Also teachers stay in our memories and help shape the people we become. My favorite teacher, Mrs. Katz, taught me when I was ten years old. She seemed to reach into me and pull out my thoughts that were needed to succeed. She also touched all of the other children in my class.

Every day, I looked forward to seeing Mrs. Katz. She was young, stylish and never talked down to us. I would try to sit at the front of the class and reach my hand, high into the sky, to answer her questions. Yes, I was that kind of student. She was my favorite and I looked up to her.

I remember one day, her fifth grade class noticed she was gaining weight.

My classmates and I, had serious huddle talks and debated whether Mrs. Katz was just gaining weight or maybe pregnant. We tried in our ten year old selves, to tactfully hope she was just gaining weight because otherwise we could lose our favorite mentor.

My classmates chose me to ask Mrs. Katz about her sudden weight gain. We were all nervous about her response. Mrs. Katz stood at the front of the class and finished her lesson. I walked over to my teacher and blurted out, “Mrs. Katz are you pregnant?” and to my surprise she said, "Yes." And the entire class clapped for her.

When the dust settled, the class realized we could be losing her. Soon, she would go on maternity leave and we wondered if she would return to our school.

After she had her baby, Mrs. Katz left our school, but brought her baby to meet us. And do you know what I heard her tell her new daughter? That we were her favorite fifth grade class. Thank you Mrs. Katz. Tell me, what was your favorite teachers name?

All the single babies video

Hope your having a wonderful weekend. Why has this baby sparked 'single babies' videos all over YouTube? Hold on as I go and shake my bootie and giggle a little. Have you ever seen a little one dance like this before?

Should I change my name after I get married?

He drops to a knee, places a shiny ring on your finger and you ride off into the sunset together. Well things can be a little different in today’s world. Suddenly, now that you’re engaged, you’re faced with life questions about combining finances, responsibility for chores, how to discipline your future children and whether to take his name.

After 30+ years of living independently, I am suddenly faced with the question: do I change my last name after I get married? Could changing the woman’s last name be an archaic tradition in today's society? This must have been thought up by men to show possession over their new prize. Hasn’t anyone thought about the engaged couple choosing an entirely new last name for their new family?

OK, I’m done with my women liberation thoughts - the next set of thoughts are a little more realistic.

First, there is something so right about becoming a family after you say I do. Wouldn't it be wonderful to walk along in life beside your partner sharing one name. Wouldn't this also make life a lot simpler? Hotels, restaurants, offices and social situations would all know that you were married, just by being introduced as Mr. and Mrs. R. (Check out this site to help aid in the transition of name changing called MissNowMrs.com.)

If I don’t change my last name then my (phantom/future) children will not have the same name as me, their mother. Will the postman get confused with the two different last names on the mailbox? I understand women wanting to keep their maiden last name, especially if they’ve established themselves professionally. By making the decision to change, you’re starting off with a completely new identity. One that says, "I’m taken. See the bling?"

Finally, women have the option to hyphenate their last name. If I hyphenated, this would mean; my last name would be 14 letters long. I would be going from a 5 letter last name to 14 letters long. I may as well have a stamp made for when I’m signing checks for bills.

Sure, I have a 8 or 9 months to decide if I’m going to change my last name, but I’ve lived with my current one all this time. And don’t tell anyone, but I kind of like it. How do you feel about changing your name for marriage? How did it feel when you changed your name? What route did you do down? ~Signing off Laura A

And the winner of the book giveaway is...

Drum roll please!...Char from Ramblins and the lovely Miss Anne. Congrats ladies! You will both receive the Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Opening Up About Moving On book. I loved this book and I hope you do too. I'm spending my Labor Day on a L.A beach with my family. What time can you meet me there?

How did the Brady Bunch all get through customs?

Phew… Late last night I made it safely back to San Francisco. I’m pretty sure that over the past 2 weeks, I’ve traveled on all forms of transportation and today feel completely knackered (exhausted). I felt like I was in the movie Planes Trains and Automobiles. (BTW one of the best movies. Have you seen it?) So forgive me as I rest a little today and write to you something small about my travels.

Our story begins last Sunday as we were passing through customs from Toronto to Buffalo…

My family and I flew on JetBlue to the Buffalo airport and then took a bus to Toronto and tried to do the reverse this weekend, but were caught in the horrible East Coast storms. Even though I was born and raised in Toronto, this was my first time not flying directly in. If you haven’t known the joy of entering another country via bus, then let me explain some of what you’ve been missing.

There was five of us traveling together; my father, stepmother, little brother P, little sister D and moi. We had five pieces of luggage and carry-on between us. As soon as we sat down on the bus and got situated, it was time to get off of the bus pick up our luggage and go through customs.

Even though we’re a blended family, we look a lot alike. My stepmother and I have been mistaken for sisters, as there’s ten years between us.

Could this be confusing to a customs official? It sure could.

We handed him our passports and I noticed that he was looking at me and then to my stepmother with a curious look. Finally my father said pointing to us, “This is my wife and this is my daughter. “ The customs official stared at me again and then I placed my hand on H’s shoulder and repeated, “This is my stepmother not my mother.”

“Oh,” the customs official stated with a smile on his face. “I understand now. I was trying to figure out how she had you, when she was only ten years old!”

We all laughed. What travel or border stories do you have? Am I the only one that these things happen to?

Guest blogger Three Bay B Chicks: Vacation what's that?

(Francesca guest blogs for us today from Three Bay B Chicks, take it away F) As I catch up with family and friends on the phone or in person, the inevitable question arises: “What are you doing this summer? Are you planning to go anywhere with the kids?” My response is always the same. “We’re just sticking close to home this summer. Vacationing with our kids is a ton of fun, but we thought we’d do something different this year and enroll them in a few local activities.”
In other words, I lie.

How we define a vacation has changed drastically for my husband and me since we had kids. The lovely trips from our past, where vacations were spent reclining on a beach with a drink in one hand and a book in another are no more. Instead, these delightful visions have been replaced with the realities of what it means to be adequately prepared and flexible during a trip with two young toddlers.

In my mind, any period of time during which I am supposed to be relaxing should not be proceeded by a flight with a toddler. And for good reason. I am still a bit traumatized by our last visit to the airport with my son.

Last summer, my husband and I decided that it was time to head down to Disneyland with the kids. I was convinced that we should not drive. It would be way too much time in the car for everyone involved, including me. I was determined to create as much of a stress-free environment as possible. My plan was full-proof.

In preparing for our trip, I made lists, I packed and repacked, I even shopped Target for handfuls of toys and surprises, guaranteed to keep my children occupied. Without a doubt, my two would be held up as shining examples for model behavior on an airplane to children everywhere.

In reality, we didn’t even make it past the security gate before we had our first major crisis. Given the airline restrictions, I explained to my son that he was welcome to carry his Mater toy truck through the airport, but that once we came to the gate with the men with the “magic wands,” Mater would need to take a ride through the ex-ray tunnel of mystery. It was going to be a new adventure for Mater. I felt confident that explaining the security procedure to my son would guarantee success.

To say that I was wrong would be putting it mildly. As Mater started to move away from our little group, my son got nervous. “They’re taking Mater! They’re taking Mater!” In a flash, he scrambled on top of the conveyer belt and attempted to retrieve his blue truck from certain death. I didn’t know what to do. Honestly, I had never seen my boy move so fast. I did what any mother would and dove after her son.

What a site! There we were, the two of us in the ex-ray machine, with only our feet dangling out. My boy was sobbing from the near loss of his beloved friend and I was awkwardly trying to remove my sunglasses, my boy, and the top half of my body from the giant tunnel.

As I nervously began to try to regain my composure, I turned to one of the security officers and smiled. “This type of thing must happen to you all the time, huh?”

“No, ma’am” was all the reply that I received.

Once we were finally on the plane and I was able to relax with a magazine for the brief 24 minutes of peace that my shopping at Target had earned me, I read an article that described how choosing travel companions is the most important decision you make before embarking on a trip. The story reminded me that I would be spending almost 24 hours a day, day after day, in close quarters with my group, so it's extremely important that everyone's personalities and interests mesh well.

I couldn’t agree more.

~

Ah Francesca, thank you for this reminder that parent's really DO have the hardest job in the world! Loved your guest post and now I'm off to read Three Bay B Chicks post today! Comment below about some of your worst travel experiences.

Evian roller babies: cute or creepy?

At first this video made me smile and then I had moments when it started to worry me, but overall these babies get a lot of street cred from me! How did they get those babies to back flip while roller skating? Tell me, is this video cute or creepy? You go Evian and thank you I will live young!

JuiceBoxJungle: Daddy doesn't do it right

More parenting videos on JuiceBoxJungle

Do you know about the JuiceBoxJungle site? I love their real parenting stories and videos. If you're a parent, hoping to be a parent one day or enjoy learning about child development, this site is for you. For example, how awesome is this video about Dad's trying to deal with Mom's thinking they do everything right when it comes to raising the children? (This argument probably started at the beginning of time, but still goes on today). My favorite quote from the video is, "The more you nag, the less Dad's will do." What's yours?

Well, you've got my vote Dad's...put on your Daddy t-shirt and dress your kids in non matching clothes. I promise to *try* not to say anything.

Mommy Can I Help You Balance Your Checkbook? The School of Life

I remember being in college when I took my first marriage and family class. I loved learning the tips and about the psychology, but why did it take it so long for our educational system to offer me these classes? If we are trying to teach our children to grow up to be productive members of society, then why wait to teach them life skills in their early twenties? Are we scared to teach classes on running a household, how to manage our checkbooks or how to have a successful relationship? Or do we not have enough time to teach it all.

I started off in college with an undeclared major. I knew at the age of eighteen, I needed to take some classes before I decided what career I was going to have for the rest of my life. I cannot tell you the looks that I got from the school guidance counselor and adults, when I told them my decision to still think about my major.

Two years into school, I declared my major as psychology and then specialized a year later with a Child and Family Studies degree. After taking psychology classes and participating in an internship I just ‘knew’ that I wanted to specialize in working with children and families.

At a holiday party, adults asked me what my major was and I was able to say, “Ah yes, I am now a child and family studies major.” “Oh you’re going to have a wonderful marriage then!” was the usual reply.

That wasn’t why I was taking those classes, but just like I needed science, math, art and a language to be taught a well-rounded education, I felt that psychology classes should be mandatory to me as well.

If I had been taught at an early age in school the necessary life skills like raising children, paying bills, grocery shopping, balancing the checkbook, stocks, marriage and accepting people with different backgrounds then maybe I could have decided my major much earlier on.

Do we assume that children are being taught these life skills at home? And what if this doesn't happen? What if the parent’s assume their children are being taught these skills at school? Trust me, I have met some of those adults. These adults almost broke down when they realized that they would have to pay their own bills, run their own home and somehow keep their marriage afloat.

Now imagine two sixth graders discussing their upcoming quiz on paying bills after taking the bills class in school.

Susie “OK I have $100 in my bank account, but I have two bills coming. One for PG&E for $40 and the other for my health insurance for $30, how much money will I have left over?”

Katie “Don’t forget to leave some money aside for the groceries. Maybe we should set aside $130 for the month for bills.”

Wouldn’t it also benefit everyone and our society if we taught our children, say in the fifth grade about accepting others who are different to us? These classes could be about learning that there is a lot to learn from someone that is different. Different cultures, religion and sexual orientation makes each person unique and special. To me this is class in school that I would have loved to take.

So the next time you are about to do the chore that you most hate, balancing your checkbook, try to think of it as a learning exercise for your child. My suggestion is that you call little ‘Johnny or Susie’ over, give them a fake checkbook to follow along in crayon and teach them this life skill. Plus if you make it fun maybe they won’t hate balancing the checkbook they way that I do ☺

I will announce the two winners of the Happy Birthday to Me Guest Blogger Giveaway on Wednesday April 29th so you still have time to enter. Good luck! Please comment on this post and tell me another skill you would like to taught in school or advice you may have.

Can Step families Work? My Little Brother Interview

I was in college when I found I out that I was going to be an older sister for the second time. I felt so many emotions. I had never even thought about the possibility of this happening, but my Father remarried and then came the wonderful news. My little brother P and I have always been very close. We are both emotional and creative and we seemed to bond right away.

My Father and I were lucky enough to get this second chance of having a larger family. My life became much fuller, brighter, warmer and funnier with P in it. So I wanted to share with you some of his thoughts on his life in today's world.

P is a thirteen year old funny, smart, emotional, sports fanatic guy who cannot wait to become a professional basketball player. And I just saw P's Facebook status update and it said 'My big sis is in town. ' Ah P thanx.

Interview

How old are you and where were you born? I am turning 14 and was raised in Woodland Hills, Ca for most of my life.

What grade are you in? I'm in eighth grade going into ninth.

How do you feel about going into high school? I am nervous, but very excited because it’s going to be a much better experience then any of the other school years. Grade wise and social wise. My school will be much bigger and I will have to adapt to the environment. I am also scared to go into high school because I am going from being the big eighth grader to a puny freshman.

How did I get the name Lala? When I was a little boy I couldn’t pronounce Laura. I tried, but the word that came out for Laura was Lala. It has stuck around for my whole life. And many people use my nickname for you, but it’s mine!

Do you know what a recession is? No. Never heard the word before. Can you tell me?

What does the word Economy then mean to you? Economy is like the way the value of money is in our country. How people use money and how the world is right now. The economy is terrible right now due to a former Presidents mistakes. It's not all his fault, but he made some mistakes.

What are your feelings about President Obama? I think he’s a good president so far, but in my eyes he’s a great speaker, with great ideas and great determination. He’s trying as hard as he can to save our society, but one man can only do so much.

What job do want to have when you're older? I want to be a professional basketball player. I know I might sound naive, but I know I’m really good at basketball and if your good at a sport you have a greater advantage to go to colleges for cheaper. If I am not a basketball player then I see myself going to Law School and hopefully becoming a sports agent. If you have a Law degree then more options can open for you.

Do you believe in marriage and having children? Yes, strongly. I believe if two people are in love and they want to be together forever they should get married. It’s a free country. I think gays and lesbians should also be able to marry. They can be seen as differeny, but they only have different beliefs. I do see myself as getting married and having two or three children.

Where will you be in five years? I will be nineteen and I will be in my first year in college. I would like to go to a good college like UCSB or a college of that caliber.

What are your favorite books, artists, movies and TV shows? I like the Caroline B. Cooney books. She has many well known books and I’ve read pretty much all of them. My favorite book so far is The Terrorist. It’s not the kind of book it sounds like. It's about a family who moves to England and the little boy of the family is on the subway and a man hands him a wrapped package and says his friend dropped it. Sadly the little boy dies and his older sister is determined to find the killer and make things right. I strongly recommend this book to anyone of any age.

Artists: I like bands like the All American Rejects to Kanye West. I like all music hip hop to rock to pop. Bench Warmers, Angels on the Outfield and Epic Movie.

TV Shows: ESPN, pretty much anything on VH1 or MTV, I also like George Lopez, Home Improvement and Family Matters.

What is it like to have an older sister that is nineteen years apart from you and to have a father that has been married before? I think it’s pretty cool to have a sister and brother that’s been through what I am about to go through. They are always there to give me advice no matter what my question is. I’m fine with my Dad being married twice. I’m just glad that he gave me two great siblings with another wife and then married my mom who looks at my older sister (you) and brother as her own.

How important are your friends to you? They are the most important thing to me besides family. They are my second family. I can always look to them for advice and to have a good time.

How important are sports to you? They are extremely important if I didn’t have sports I would have a much less exciting life, with less opportunities. My whole life, I’ve been in a variety of sports and it helped me make friends at an early age. 

If you could give advice to adults about raising children what would it be? As a kid, I say that adults should give fewer punishments because many parents see a mistake that children make as something wrong and unacceptable. I think parents should see the mistakes as lessons. Punishing children too much sometimes turns children against adults. I know many children when they get punished think to themselves, I have the worse parents and I will not do this when I become a parent. As I am maturing, I know that you have to punish sometimes to get the lesson across to children. Other kids may see this differently then me.

Thank you P for taking the time to share with us your thoughts. From my experience, I know that Step families can work. You just have to put your heart and time in. Don't you just love P's thoughts on going into high school next year and on punishing children too much? It took me right back. *Below is one of my favorite pictures of P and Alcatraz.

Can Step families Work? My Little Sister Interview

I have been asked many times why I don't have children yet. Other then waiting for the right time, I was lucky enough to be given two bonus siblings when my Father remarried. My little brother was born when I was 19 and then my sister was born when I was 20. It was then, that I made the decision that I would fully participate in their lives.

They mean the world to me and I feel so close to both of them. In a blink they are now in Junior High and almost in High School. On my most recent trip home to visit my family, I sat with my little sister and interviewed her for Under the Sheets-Shhh and for you.

D is a very talkative, fashionable, funny, sarcastic little diva that is very maternal at heart and the baby of our family. Can you imagine what it would be like to be in Junior High with an older sister twenty years older then you?

OK D inquiring minds want to know..... take it away.

Interview

How old are you and where were you born? Twelve and raised in Woodland Hills, Ca.

What grade are you now in? I'm in sixth grade.

Do you like school? No. Because it’s boring and I don’t get to talk. Teachers are not understanding of my need to socialize.

What job do you want to have when you're older? A hairdresser because I have liked styling and cutting hair ever since I was little. I use to try to cut my dolls hair, but it wouldn't grow back:) I'd like to work in a salon in Paris not on movie sets. Lala remember when I use to put all of those clips in your hair and I made your head bleed? I was practicing for my future clients.

Do you believe in marriage? And do you want to have children? I believe in marriage and I don’t want to have kids. I want to adopt. I do not want to go through all the pain of giving birth. Even though I would adopt a child, I would love it as if it was mine. Marriage is for me because I picture myself when I’m older (28 yrs. Old) living with my loving family (my husband, my loving child and my Jack Russel).

Where do you think you'll be in five years? In five years I will be 17 years old and I will be a senior in high school. I’ll be a preppy cheerleader, with an awesome boyfriend and friends. I want to go to college, but I dream of going to a hair dressing college for my certificate in hair.

What are you favorite book, artists, movies and TV shows?

Kanye West, Flo Rider, Colbie Caillat, PussyCat Dolls, Rihanna, The Clique Series, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Pimp My Ride, Parental Control, My Name is Earl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Date Movie, DodgeBall.

What is your favorite food? Pizza, French fries and Ice cream. (chocolate malted crunch)

How do you feel about fashion and what are your favorite stores and designers? I love clothes, but I hate sewing. I use to love dressing up my dolls in cute outfits. The reason that I wake up in the morning is to get dressed. My favorite stores are: Hollister, Hot Topic, Abercrombie and Victoria Secret.

Do you know what a recession is? Yes, its something to do with the economy. Lots of people are being laid off now and some businesses are going bankrupt.

What are your thoughts about President Obama? I think he is a loyal president. I believe he has the power to run our country.

What is it like to have an older sister that is twenty-one years apart from you? Its kinda weird having you be so much older than me, but I can talk to you about anything.

How important are your friends to you? My friends are very important to me. I love them and I don’t know what I would do without them.

Thank you so much D for sharing your thoughts with us. Can I be your first client at your Paris hair salon if you promise not to make my head bleed? Oh and if you haven't already please join our Facebook Northern Califorinia Blogger Network. We are very excited about our new group and you can become a founding member. Stay tuned for my little brother's interview on Tuesday April 21sr.

Dr. Laura's Advice: Part 2 Raising Childen with Consequences

Part 1 of Raising Children with Consequences was about the first time I heard about "Mark". Mark was presented at our social worker meeting as an at risk child. He was twelve years old, in middle school and was just suspended from school for picking fights. His parents were teenagers when they had him - they married shortly after but were divorced before Mark was two. His mother was out of the family picture after she left home when Mark was three years old. Mark was raised by his very young father and grandparents. During this time Mark's father entered into a gang and got into a lot of trouble when he was a teenager. He had been arrested three times when I first met him. Mark showed signs of dyslexia in class and had never had one on one attention at school for a teacher to realize that he had a learning disability. Mark's dyslexia made him feel slower and not as smart as the other students in his class. This angered him. After some testing and a one on one tutor Mark showed that he could learn. What consequences did I introduce to help Mark succeed in his life?

It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment that Mark made a turn around in his life, but he did. After months of Mark taking steps forward and taking some steps backwards, he showed signs of improvement at school and in his relationships. I first noticed the improvement when his grades started to improve. So did Mark's attendance to school. Instead of being absent from class 3 times a week he was not only in class most of the week, but participating. He felt comfortable with his female tutor and started to learn how to work with, not against, his dyslexia.

In our therapy sessions, he started to open up. In each session he was able to go deeper and deeper into his feelings. He had some blow ups, but he learned the consequences. If he took his anger out on me or left the therapy session we would skip the next session. He seemed to respond to this.

Because of all of his hard work he was starting to make school friends although he was still worried about bringing his new friends home to meet his father. I suggested that he and his new friends go out to movies or to ballgames. Only when he was ready should he introduce his friends to his father. He also started to have feelings for a girl in his class. This was a huge improvement as the only people that he had been interested in were his female tutor or therapists. He felt good that he wasn't setting himself to fail, but to succeed.

One of my proudest moments of my time with Mark was when he got an after school job. The positive reinforcement that he felt by making his own money, gaining responsibility and following through really helped his self esteem. He was able to work the job for several months before being let go due to tardiness which was a good consequence of his own actions.

As Mark made more and more improvement our time together started to end. The need for me to shadow him had changed. I stayed in touch with one of his therapists "Lacey" and years later she told me that Mark had graduated from high school which was a huge accomplishment. I felt a true sense of pride. Then she told me that Mark's father had returned to jail and Mark was now living with his grandparents

I believe that each person that we come in contact with helps shape us. Do you agree? Would you like me to write more about the cases I worked on as a social worker? What are your thoughts about Mark?

Dr. Laura's Advice: Raising Children with Consequences

Have you ever looked into the eyes of a child and just known that they were going to have a difficult time growing up? As if the cards are already stacked against them? Here is a case that I worked on while I was a social worker in Southern California. I hope that you can see that positive and negative consequences work with raising children. I believe that each child is unique and creative; we just have to be unique and creative in working with them. Let me know if some of my child development advice helps you.

Some background on how a child and family agency works: Each week the therapists, counselors, interns and teachers meet to discuss upcoming, current and closed cases. This meeting is a safe and confidential place where children's names are changed. After a family would come to the agency for therapy a case file would be opened. If a child was recommended by their therapist that case would be introduced at our weekly meetings. We would collectively decide who would be the best case for each counselor and also devise the right game plan in helping that child and family.

This is how I first heard about "Mark". Mark was presented at out meeting as an at risk child. He was twelve years old, in middle school and was just suspended from school for picking fights. His parents were teenagers when they had him, got married and divorced before Mark was two. His mother was out of the family picture and left home when Mark was three years old. Mark was raised by his very young father and grandparents. During this time Mark's father entered into a gang and got into a lot of trouble when he was a teenager. He had been arrested three times.

Can you see what I mean by just knowing in your gut that it's going to be very hard for Mark to stay out of trouble in his life and to not have relationship issues?

The team of counselors chose me as his counselor. I felt for Mark and needed to teach him respect for authority right away. I believed that without having respect for authority, Mark would never fear consequences like suspensions, break ups, gangs or jail. Even though Mark and I came from two totally different backgrounds, we connected right away. Well, we did, until I gave him negative consequences for his actions. To show him positive reinforcement, I asked Mark to be in charge of some of the younger children at his school. I gave him the points binder and he proudly carried it with him every day. The point binder gave him the authority to give and take away children's earned points, with my supervision, and he was responsible for choosing a star student each week.

Building from here, I started to have individual therapy meetings with Mark's dad. I suggested that for Mark's sake that he start to try and keep the gang activity and women away from the house. At first this was met with a lot of resistance, but after seeing Mark's improvement in his behavior, his dad was willing to try.

I can remember the first time Mark exploded in anger at me when he didn't like what I had to say. Mark who was very short for his age, threw the point binder across the room, screamed at an entire room of students and stormed off of the premises.

I called Mark's father and let him know what had happened. The next day Mark returned to school escorted by his father and he was very quiet and apologetic to me. Mark and I were able to talk through what happened and began to work on his anger. He admitted that he learned his anger from watching his father use anger at people and gang members to get what he wanted. He promised he would try to keep his anger in check and continue to come to his therapy sessions.

Mark showed signs of dyslexia in class and had never had one on one attention at school for a teacher to realize that he had a learning disability. Mark's dyslexia made him feel slower and not as smart as the other students in his class. This angered him. After some testing and a one on one tutor Mark showed that he could learn, but in different ways.

Stay tuned for Part 2. What do you think will happen to Mark next? Was this a success story? 2 out 5 cases usually are. Have you ever known a child like this?