Monday, October 19, 2009

Discussing mistakes in a relationship

In a relationship, how do you let your significant other down after you know they’ve tried so hard? Don’t you have to forgive when you know that your sweetie made a mistake with the best of intentions? It can happen in any relationship and with something as simple as helping with groceries.

We were recently at a party, and hanging out with another couple, 'Brian' and 'Kara.' After a couple glasses of wine, Kara came over and to catch up. Kara had recently moved to the city and Brian wanted to help her move, but he was recovering from knee surgery. Kara lives in a fourth floor flat in San Francisco which is difficult for someone on crutches. Trust me, I can tell you! She took excellent care of him and Brian wanted to thank her for her love and hospitality.

What would be the appropriate gift for Brian to give her? Brian thought of getting her a present like flowers or wine, but decided to go more of the practical route. He logged into Safeway.com, and had her groceries delivered. Kara opened the door to see a delivery man with groceries and it felt like an angel had appeared.

Brian had thought long and hard about what groceries to order. Because of Kara’s help he ordered her favorites items and not his. After looking through her treasure chest, in the form of grocery bags, she saw something that disturbed her. It was a box of Triscuits! Why would Triscuits stop her in tracks? Because she’d never had a Triscuit before and this innocent little snack must have been someone else’s favorites like an old girlfriend.

I suggested to her that these Triscuits could have been his sister or mother’s favorites as well. She totally agreed and replied, “Brian got almost everything right.” She went on to say that the delivery man would not accept a tip. So I told her, "You know what you could have done? Tipped him in Triscuits!" Do you think these kinds of relationship mistakes happen all the time? Comment below and tell me one of yours…

9 comments:

DesBisoux said...

the only mistake my ex was doing is that he never had little attentions like that. or it felt like it. hence the "ex" part!!

Dollface said...

I loveeeeee the garden herb triscuits... ummm.. but anyways it is hard to discuss mistakes... we all want to be right deep down in inside!! xxxoo

Char said...

the inherent problem in kara's thinking is there is an alternative meaning. i think too often in relationships we look so hard for fault that we trip ourselves up instead of relaxing and thanking someone for such a beautiful gift. it could have been something as simple a grocer error too.

Laura said...

DesBisoux: Love your comment sweetie and its great to recognize what you deserve!

Dollface: You are so making me hungry!

Laura said...

Char: Agreed, but Kara was laughing the entire time she was telling me this story? =)

Slices of Beauty... said...

Wow, such a loving man!
An open-minded discussion would not hurt.

kelly said...

you know what i have a bad mouth and when provoked i say what i really mean and i hurt feelings. so i think im the wrong person to ask any suggestions from.

i think Brians gift was so thoughtful. 100X better then any flowers or candy. i think she needs to step back and look at the bigger picture. he could have been really generic and sent flowers and card that would have shut her up but umm the fact is he went out of his way to do something really nice. and maybe he thought she could try something new ...together. who knows like i said im the last person you want to really ask for nicey niceness.

oh and to answer your question: i like the shorter strands

Laura said...

Slices of beauty: I totally agree, but I promise this was all tongue and cheek while she was telling me!

Emerald Dandy said...

Let's face it, mistakes are bound to happen. His overall intentions were that of a positive one, and if it were such a bother to her communication is crucial. It's not easy to discuss mistakes, but it needs to happen to maintain a healthy relationship.

I can say this from experience: my boyfriend accidentally called me by his ex boyfriends name. Believe me, he felt extremely sorry about it - and it was just that: a mistake.

In other news I can't get over how adorable that was of him - I would LOVE to have groceries delivered to me with all of my favorites!

Enough rambling...
Cheers from Seattle,
J.C