I wrote a post back in September called, Should I change my name after marriage? I loved all of your comments as they were diverse and candid. Just the way I like comments! What I learned is there really are no rules in needing to change your name for marriage. It's all about personal preference.
And as long as you think out of the box then why not behave the same way about this name changing tradition?
I've known my Honey for five years (1 1/2 as friends and then 3 1/2 years as a couple) so I've had plenty of time to think about this. And yes I doodled on my notebook what my married name would look like countless times. And over the years Honey and I have discussed our feelings about my name change. And neither of us were set either way.
One day Honey made the suggestion that I take his last name as my middle name so I have a double-barrelled last name. For me this is the best of both worlds. For now I can keep my last name for work and google searches, but can be Mrs. Honey as well. His suggestion just felt right and we moved forward with the change the day we got our marriage license.
So I did change my name for marriage, but in my 'out of the box' way that works for me/us.
Here are some of my favorite post comments that really stood out:
Lost of comments on this one. You have a lot to think about. I am getting married in a few weeks and am so excited to change my name. It is weird to think that my children and people I meet in the future will only know me by my husband's last name. That the name that is my identity will slowly disappear. I plan to keep it around a little on magazine subscriptions or library cards. I am changing it because its a tradition and if you are doing the tradition of getting married I think you should go all the way with it. I want to be announced that day as Mr and Mrs. I also feel like changing my name is putting trust in my husband to take care of me and our future children. Be the head of the household. Good luck!
The Good Cook said...
I took my husband's name. It meant so much to him and it really made me feel like a "wife" and part of a whole new team identity. Our children have my maiden name as their middle name, keeping it alive!
You do realize that your children are not required to have your husband's last name, right? They can have yours just as easily. Heck, make one up for them if you want.
Also, I grew up with a different name than my mother (she remarried when I was five, but I didn't change my name). Guess what? It was no big deal. Ever. No one ever got confused or thought that she wasn't really my mom. Maybe fifty years ago it would have seemed odd, but it certainly doesn't now.
If you don't want to change your last name, but want your children to have yours, then give them yours. If you don't want to change your last name, but want the kids to have Daddy's name, then let them have it and don't worry about it. If you want a new name but don't want to fall into the patriarchal trap of being known only by your husband's name, come up with a new name for the whole family and make your husband go through the whole name-changing mess with you. Think outside the box! You're not limited to your grandmother's traditions.
So what are your thoughts about changing your name for marriage? Out of the three comments, which do you relate to the most?