Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Interview: Ask Me About My Divorce

After reading the book Ask Me About My Divorce I felt changed. This book is a collection of essays from many different authors who all have a common thread. They got divorced and came out on the other end of despair enlightened and changed.

Out of all of the writers, one stood out for me. Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant has a way with writing that I aspire to have. Her words (from pg.59 titled Marriage Is A Job) jumped off the page in a funny, warm, smart, quick and caring way. She has 16 published books, had her own radio show and teaches comedy classes. I also love her site The accidental comic.

And as a special treat for my blogging friends, I interviewed Leigh Ann about the chapter she wrote for Ask Me About My Divorce. And without further adieu...I give you Leigh Ann.

1) Hi Leigh Ann, I'd love to know more about your background

My professional background: I have a degree in political science and a masters degree in public health. For twelve years I ran the wellness program at The University of Texas Houston Health Science Center. Then I accidentally bought a house while on vacation in Oregon and had to move there to live in it. It was fitting because I had accidentally discovered my sense of humor in a comedy writing class when I was 32 (I tell people I wasn't voted class clown in high school, I was voted most likely to depress people). So I moved across country, having no job and a husband with no prospects, and decided I'd give myself a year to make a career out of humor. 15-1/2 years later I'm still plugging away in the same house.

2) What did writing the chapter for this book mean to you?

I believe that writing is a way of opening yourself up so that you can truly understand the lessons you've learned. It brings things from subconscious to conscious. Writing this chapter helped me truly be okay with the fact that being divorced three times did not mean I was a failure at love or relationships. It meant that I'm a hopeful person who believes strongly in love. And because all of my divorces have made me stronger and more capable (and not jaded in the way many women get), I do see the process as growth and evolution.

3) Can you elaborate on embracing fear and trying to take each day at a time?

I always say you can either lie face down weeping into the carpet, or you can choose to see the brighter, lighter side. Life is full of things we can be afraid of. And so many people choose to live in that fear. I'm not just talking about the fear of the unknown that arises when a relationship falls apart, but every day fears -- will I have enough money to pay the rent? will the kids grow up to be juvenile delinquents? will the next person I meet also treat me badly? will this all matter or will global warming cause the oceans to rise so fast everything gets washed away?

4) In your chapter my break down of your point: "I've learned a lot from my jobs and marriages and it can all be summed up as this: Life goes on." is I believe, all women should be told that no matter what happens in life and what choices you've made everything is going to be fine. It might be different then you had hoped, but you'll be fine as you grow. Your thoughts to my thoughts?

I'd tweak that just a little. "Everything is going to be fine if you decide to make it that way." People can choose to spend their lives wallowing in guilt and sadness or living with anger and resentment. Or they can choose to say, everything happens for a reason, I will find the reason, use it to become a better person, learn from my mistakes (really, it's the only part of life we do learn from), and live a better life because of this.

~Interested in reading this book? Come back on Thursday for the Under the Sheets-Shhh book giveaway. Let me know what you think of Leigh Ann's chapter


Dollface said...

Hmmmmm thats a good title for a book.. ive been trying to come up with a title for something ive been writing about my life... not so easy... i give props to anyone who has finished this feat!! xxxoo

Char said...

I definitely learned life does indeed go on

Debbie said...

I have always embraced that " chose to be happy" attitude. Great interview.

The Good Cook said...

Good post. It's true. Life does go on and it can be better than ever after divorce. BUT, and this is a big butt, you have to choose to embrace the change, learn from the relationship and most of all, be able to embrace love (if it happens) once more.

Even though my own divorce is many, many years past, I do believe I will buy this book. Thanks!

Laura said...

Dollface: Try to look at the titles from SealPress. Woman's only publishing.

CFR Mediation said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Laura said...

Char: It does just different then expected!

Debbie: Thanx honey. I loved this interview as well.

Laura said...

The Good Cook: Great advice indeed! We all have many chapters in life and we all have the power to write and rewrite the chapters.

Leigh Anne said...

Thanks for the great interview! I appreciate your looking me up and and happy you enjoyed my chapter in the book.