Monday, May 31, 2010

Calling all love stories: True Beginnings

Introducing Miss Joanie who is going to guest post for us. I love how real Joanie is with her words and thoughts. I always feel like I know her and can imagine her stories. When she read that I was looking for "calling all love stories" while I'm away on my Honeymoon and she sent this right over. Thanx Joanie!

Have I mentioned that John and I met on the internet? Well, we sure did! When my marriage broke up, I was a little bit insane. I was married 23 years and we were together a total of 27 years. I didn't know how to NOT be married. Some months after the break-up, when I was finally convinced that he wasn't going to "come to his senses and come home", I started joining online dating services hoping to meet someone. I met a few guys and I'm surprised I didn't join a convent!

I was resigning myself to spending the rest of my life alone. Then one day I ended up on this site, I found this one called True Beginnings. John and I exchange info about ourselves over the course of the next couple of weeks and we learn that we have so much in common it's scary! He's 4th of 7 kids, raised Catholic in Philly, graduated from Cardinal Dougherty High School in 1971. I'm 4th of 8 kids, raised Catholic in the suburbs of Philly and graduated from Cardinal O'Hara High School in 1973. He's retired military, 3 of my 4 brothers, my sister's husband and my nephew are all military, 3 of whom made careers in the Army and Marines. I have 2 girls, 1 boy; he has 2 boys, 1 girl, neither of us has grandchildren yet. The similarities just kept coming and coming.

We finally decided it was time to meet in person. So I told him where I worked as a waitress. So one Saturday, the hostess comes up and says you have a request and there he is!! John sat in my section and ordered food and asked me to go dinner and a movie with him.

Did I mention that I broke all the rules with him? First, I told him where I work. Then, I allowed him to follow me home so I can get changed. I gave him a Diet Coke and I went upstairs to take a shower!!! So we go to Red Lobster and then a movie afterwards (we saw The Night Talker with Robin Williams). Afterwards, we went back to my place and he comes in and we watched a movie (V For Vendetta). This is where I made a BIG mistake.... I should have known better to introduce my teenager to my new "friend". And it didn't help much that she caught us smooching. If I had to do it all over again, I'd have kept John out of the house for a while before introducing them. Although I have a feeling it wouldn't have made a difference.

We have a lot in common and we also have many differences. He thinks the Catholic Church should still be saying Mass in Latin, I don't agree. I was in a bowling league for years, I like to play cards, he plays Dungeons and Dragons and Chess.

So there you have it! John and I have been together since August of 2006. We had some challenges, like when he was diagnosed with cancer less than a year after we met and I told him I wasn't going to leave him. And dealing with my youngest child not liking him. I had a cervical cancer scare (I didn't have it, thank God!) before he had his cancer and he stood by me.

I'm not sure if we'll ever get married, and it's me dragging my feet. I don't want to lose my spousal support (that's what they call alimony in PA) and I get it until Dec 2014 and I earned every single penny of that money! And I also discovered I'll be eligible for my ex's social security if I don't remarry before I turn 60 (which will be 9 months after my support ends), and my ex makes a LOT more money than either of us do! My not wanting to get married really surprised me! I was DESPERATE to be married, yet when the possibility arose, I said no way!
Go figure.


The Simply Luxurious Life said...

Thanks for sharing such a personal story. So many questions and so many uncertainties, but the one thing that is certain is clearly that you two love each other. Go with that. Love it! Beautiful post. =)

Namine said...

this started of so sad, but it turned out so well. What a heartwarming story

Joanie M said...

Thank you, Laura, for allowing me to share your wonderful love with my story.

And Namine...over a year later and we're more in love than ever!

Joanna Jenkins said...

I love Joanie and have been reading her blog for a good long while but I did not know this story. Thanks a million for sharing!

Heather said...

Learn something new about you all the time. Your love story is such a great one and if you hadn't broken all the rules who knows what would have happened. It might of just been a date, instead of the beginnings of a great love!

My hubby and I waited 15 yrs to get married!

Alix said...

Joanie's my chica and I know this story very well. How romantic - even after hearing it again!

Both Joanie and John are such lovely soul mates and live so perfectly in the moment. Marriage is wonderful, but it doesn't justify, quantify or define love. Joanie and John have found the formula for happiness and I have a feeling they'll be together for a long long long long time.

Love you, Joanie girl!

Joanie M said...

Wow!!! Am I feeling the love or what!!!