My three girlfriends and I were recently sitting at a coffee shop when the topic of our relationships came up. Doesn’t it always? I quickly realized that all three of us were all in different stages. One was living with her girlfriend, another engaged etc. Sure I made a joke about how my stock was about to go down, but it was my friend who needed the advice about her non-boyfriend that she’s been seeing for almost a year.
Yup her non-boyfriend that she sees every weekend, most nights, they spend weekend getaways together and have been each other’s plus one at work events. And then I laughed out loud when she called herself a cougar because of their age difference.
I suggested that, “She wasn’t a cougar, but a puma.” Don’t you agree? A cougar is a woman who is in there forties and hunting for twenty year olds. A puma is a (cougar-in-training) woman in her thirties dating a younger man. And I’m so glad my girlfriend laughed.
Why do we feel better with labels though?
With her new puma status she seemed to carry herself a little stronger and sit up a little straighter in her chair. Never mind she was caring for someone that wasn’t giving back the way she wanted.
'Puma' seemed to make her feel better. It seemed confusing to be seeing someone she cared about and yet they checked in periodically to make sure that the other one hadn’t fallen in love because of their ‘understanding’. I encouraged her to break up from her non-boyfriend and find someone who deserves her time, energy and care. Maybe she just feels the puma pull to being free and unattached. Or is this a myth as she seems attached to me?
Pumas are cougars in training, but where does the training come from if you have a broken heart. I hope she gets this non-boyfriend out of her system soon and see’s how wonderful she is. So lovelies do you agree or disagree with my advice? And just remember she’s probably reading this post…