Monday, May 18, 2009

Our Love Story: Pursuit of Happiness

There’s something wonderful about leaving your fast paced life for an island. There’s paradise all around and I felt a sense of calm that I didn’t feel in my city life. Honey and I had already been through so much to be together, and we were enjoying each other’s company as a happy couple. I had the most amazing days in Hawaii, but I wasn’t looking forward to returning home and facing the reality that there were some who would be against us being together.

Let me tell you, it took a lot of strength to make my decision to be with Honey. I was so worried that a relationship would ruin our friendship. I had been hurt before and wasn’t sure if love was for me. It had taken me a year and a half to realize that I was wrong.

Honey and I took many pictures on Kauai and Oahu of exotic birds, flowers, waterfalls, juice stops, beaches and sunsets. The pictures that amazed me though, were the ones of us together. We were beaming from ear to ear - I had found my match and finally let my guard down.

Yes, some would not support a Jewish-Canadian woman dating a Hindu man. Looking at those pictures, all I could think was how happy we looked.

I believe that love and happiness were colorblind...

As we drove in the rental car through the hills of Kauai, I couldn’t stop thinking about how we could earn his family’s acceptance. I had never met his family. I thought the best way for us to get to know one other was to arrange a dinner as soon as we got back to San Francisco. I wanted to explain to Honey’s parents how happy we were and how we wanted them to be apart of our lives.

Half way through our talk, I noticed a look in Honey’s eyes that I had never seen before. He was very concerned. Getting his parents to accept us was going to take a lot more then one dinner. What advice would you give to battle years of tradition? Do you think that happiness can break through barriers?

18 comments:

Dollface said...

awww this is so sweet. And you changed your profile pic! You look totally different... xxoo

Char said...

happiness and strength are definitely needed - relationships are difficult without barriers so having barriers I'm sure is even more so. I wish you great happiness and love though - it makes life worth living.

Children of the Nineties said...

Sounds like a fun trip! Happiness can definitely overcome these barriers, but it requires a lot of compromises.

My relatives were not that pleased at my cousin's interfaith marriage, but they seem to make it work by balancing their traditions. It's definitely possible!

Soni said...

I'm an Indian n a Hindu and as far as meeting ur man's parents r concerned all i wud advice is to be super respectful to them n make an effort to know a little bit abt their tradition n religious beliefs. But above all show them tht u luv their dear boy a lot n tht u both can lead a happily ever after life together. All parents want nothing more thn this from their children's life partner...whichever religion or country they belong to.

All the Best dear :)

~K said...

I just was basically going to say what Soni said. Gain a knowledge in their traditions and religion, be able to ask questions and demonstrate a real interest, but don't make it the topic of every conversation they are likely to see right through them. Based on my understanding of Hindu culture if you want approval. I would focus on the mom. Be accepting of and assist with her role in the house. if that makes sense. I fyou see her role in the house and the family as too traditional or below you, or not how women should be treated then you are done before you started. That is of course assuming they are very traditional. They may be less so you just have to call it on the fly.

Bella said...

I love this post… and I definitely believe that with a little effort and a lot of faith, happiness goes a long way and can help chisel away a barrier.

I was in Kauai for Christmas it was AMAZING.. this post makes me long for those beach nights again!!!

P.S I'm holding a contest later this week with chickdowntown.com and I hope you'll stop by and enter. xxx

Laura said...

Dollface: Totally different in a good way =) So glad you liked this post.

Char: Thank you for your care Char. I believe that each obstacle brings you closer to one another.

Laura said...

Children of the Ninetines: I totally agree that faith can make all things possible. You can also concentrate on those that do support you.

Thank you Soni for your wonderful advice. I wish we could sit over some tea and I can ask you all kinds of questions. This happened about two years ago so hand in there for more of our story....

Laura said...

~K: Thank you for your advice and support. Yes, understanding and respect are the keys to acceptance. I also know that battling years of tradition and culture can never be easy for anyone involved.

Bella: Thank you Bella and I look forward to your contest. I promise to enter!

Michelle "Lady Bug" said...

Oh Wow! Honestly I see it as this. If you are happy and he is happy then it doesn't matter. I don't have a boyfriend right now but if I had one and was finally happy then I wouldn't let anyone stand in my way, not even family. I guess there is the possibility that he may be "disowned" by the family. My cousin married a black girl and my uncle, his dad, was so against it. They have 2 kids now and he has never met them. Isn't that sad?

Laura said...

Lady Bug: That is too sad Michelle and thank you for sharing. I believe we all have to live our truth and really hope that our situation turns out for the best.

Donna Maria said...

I have always thought that life gives us many hurdles to overcome and each and everyone of them is a life lesson. Finding the right some one for you and making that relationship work can be a hard enough battle without bringing in religion and parents. It may take time but people will always see you for what you are and Laura, you are a beautiful person. I am happy that you have found that special someone....fight for it, it is sooooo worth the battle. I know from experience. Sometimes love and happiness win the day! Xx

kathleen said...

This is a great post...! I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but have never been. :( You make it sound amazing!

kathleen said...

Oh, and yes, I do think happiness can break through these barriers.

Laura said...

Donna Maria; There is always something about your comments that make me smile. Thank you for your lovely words. I promise to you that we have been fighting for almost three years. It has been so forth the fight. xoxo

kathleen: You have to go to Hawaii soon and thank you for stopping by. I appreciate all of the support. The next chapters will explain it all.

Underfunded Heiress said...

Oh, is it his family who is not approving? Do they live here? They have to date within their culture/religion I'm assuming based on your previous posts? Sorry, if I am prying. I;m just curious. I hope you can work through it. Maybe they will see that love should not be bound my color and culture and its a gift to find someone special.

Waiting for pics!

MaryRC said...

interesting, my husband still to this day struggles with my hispanic side of the family. they love him no matter what, he doesnt get the bickering, the need to party at the drop of a hat, the chats about fights and jail time, the 10 relatives that show up and wanna spend the night, the intrusive mannerisms. i grew up that way, and its just part of who my family is. i struggle with his distant caucasian family who are so overly polite, sometimes it feels like a stranger is in my house. you don't have to ask me to pee.. please go! and they never get together for fear it will inconvenience someone. my kids see my family more than his and his family lives in the same city, mine in a different state. but at the end of every day the only family that really matters is the family we have in our home under our roof. in-laws aside we have a great thing here. and if they dont like it, well maybe they'll get over it after they day and Jesus reprimands them at the pearly gates.

geez... sorry bout the ramble..

Cameron Sharpe said...

Don’t expect every date to end in a long term relationship. Even though your previous relationship ended after five and a half years together, it doesn’t necessarily follow that the next person you go out with will also end up being a long term relationship. Sometimes you have to date a few unsuitable people before Mr. Right turns up to wow your world. So with that in mind, never, when you first meet someone, talk about how you envisage your wedding and what you want to call your children.