Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Our Love Story: Which Holiday Will We Celebrate?

Honey and I were about to battle years of tradition, culture and acceptance. I wondered if we would get stronger from this or if it would ultimately break us apart. How can two people brought up from the opposite ends of the world live a wonderful life? Was I being naive to think that because we had found each other and were in love that everything was going to be OK?

Call me a romantic, but I believe when people say that once you stop looking for that special someone then that special someone appears. I think, once you've done the work on yourself and have come to the right place in your life, you are open to sharing it with someone else.

When I was a little girl growing up in Thornhill Ontario to Jewish English parents and you had told me that my Honey was going to be an Indian, Hindu man seven years my junior, born near Bangalore, India and then raised in Marin, California I would have never believed you. But every time Honey and I were together, we would connect, be happy and laugh. We had wonderful banter and a deep trust.

Now that Honey and I were together, I started thinking about the reality of what it all meant. My religion had always meant a lot to me. I had never considered myself religious, but had loved the tradition and sense of family that religion brought. The neighborhood that I grew up in was 90% Jewish, I was a camp counselor at a Jewish day camp, had a Bat Mitzvah and celebrated the high holidays. Honey was brought up with a traditional upbringing along with a tight community of Hindu friends and family. It was rare that a non-Indian entered into his community.

How would the Canadian girl and Marin guy mesh our two worlds together?

I remember seeing in my Honey's apartment a photo of Ganesha placed on a silver patter ready to offer goods to the gods for good luck. Could my menorah or mezuzah
still be put in my home along with his gods? How would Honey and I spend the holidays. Yes, our life was a little different from other couples, but we loved each other. I asked myself 'Was I prepared to give up my Jewish identity? Would he ever ask me to?' Honey accepted me as I was, just as I accepted him.

Everything seemed to fall into place like pieces to a puzzle.

We did live in the right city for acceptance. Although when we traveled to other cities, we were reminded that not everyone was as accepting of us. We hardly noticed if someone looked at us that way as we only had eyes for one another. I did however get some strange looks from some Indian women. Once they realized that we were together and not just friends we seemed to get looks.

All I knew was how happy I was. Our future looked so bright. I was even more excited when Honey suggested that I come along with him on a business trip to Denver. It was January and Denver had been getting so much snow that year that their airport was sometimes closed. I wasn't working full time yet and I had the time to spare. Should I go away with my new boyfriend? What was it like the first time you traveled with your Honey?


Susanna-Cole said...

I say celebrate all the holidays! And I'm so glad to hear that you both have accepted each other, and can be happily together, without religion and beliefs getting in the way! :)

Thanks for your sweet comment! <3


Debbie said...

I think you must have done fine in the snow! Didn't someone once say you should winter with a man before marrying him? Good advice.

Christian said...

Oh I know how you feel, myself and my honey are opposites of each other, I'm latino and she is Caucasian. My family is very traditional and so is her family. Her family leaves the butter out, play scrabble, and celebrate the traditional holidays. My family, their your stereotypical latin group, haha. That is why we have been together for so long (especially the age of myspace and facebook) we learn from each other everyday.

"I wondered if we would get stronger from this or if it would ultimately break us apart."

Oh take it from me, you guys will get so much stronger together. It's like wine, it gets better with age.

Laura said...

Dear Susanna-Cole: This seemed to be the easiest for us. Getting family on board can be tricky. And thank YOU for your sweet comment. :)

Laura said...

Debbie: Such great advice. I will link it back to you when I write my next relationship post.

Laura said...

Christian: "Oh take it from me, you guys will get so much stronger together. It's like wine, it gets better with age."

Perfect advice and I totally agree with you! So glad to hear about you and your honey.

Interracialmatch said...
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Fancy Schmancy said...

I love the stories, hate the suspense! I know you've worked it out, tell us more!

Relationship said...

Very nice post.I read & love this story.It's good advice of relationship.