Friday, October 17, 2008

Our Love Story: Before Knee Surgery

Our work friendship was turning into a deep friendship and developing into more. Well, at least it was for me. The way future honey remembers it as, is this: "I had to try for a year and a half for you to realize that we should be together."

For weeks, I met many doctors and had x-rays taken on my left knee. I knew in my gut that my knee was messed up and it needed a lot of work. I had hoped that by doing my physical therapy that I wouldn't need surgery. One day the doctors broke the news to me that I would have to have surgery.

"Knee surgery, that could take me awhile to recover. Are you sure?" I asked the doctors.

The doctors were completely sure.

At the time I was living in San Francisco on top of a hill with no car, and my flat was up two flights of stairs with no elevator. I needed help. The kind of help/support that a significant other or family member would give you. I had neither in the city. My knee cap had dislocated and my leg looked like an S shape. With every step, I could feel a sharp pain to the right of my knee cap and my knee swelled up with fluid. I knew, and my future honey knew, that my knee was pretty serious, but we couldn't find a doctor in San Francisco that would do the surgery.
Honey was beside me for weeks of x-rays and physical therapy appointments and health insurance fights. He was there for me, cheered me up and came over one night when I couldn't sleep. I decided that I needed to go down to L.A. to see my family and get their help, and he supported me. I packed a suitcase for a week and he drove me to the airport so that I could fly down and be with my family. What was supposed to be a one week trip turned into 5 months. We found a young, but very accomplished doctor, who would perform the surgery on me. I was unable to put any weight on my leg for months and we all decided that living in L.A., where it was flat and where I could have family care was the best thing.

After the surgery I woke up in the hospital and heard that my surgery turned out to be even more serious than the doctor's originally anticipated. I would have to be in the hospital for several days and that large screws had been put in my knee. I was in a lot of pain - the kind of pain that morphine doesn't take away. I couldn't dial out long distance from the hospital phone and asked my hospital suite mate if I could borrow her cell phone so I could call honey in San Francisco. I'm sure the stranger that I was sharing the room with was glad to help as I was in a lot of pain.

I knew that our friendship was now developing into more, when, out of everyone I knew I called him first. I wanted to let him know I was OK. What I actually did was convince him not to drive down to L.A. because I didn't want him to see me in so much pain. He didn't think this was such a good idea, but I convinced him it was.

What was wrong with telling him not to come down I ask you? Well in my mind I thought, we were just friends and he didn't need to come and use his hard-earned PTO time to see just a friend in the hospital? I didn't want him to get the wrong idea about my intentions. (I think I protest too much!)

However, I realized pretty quickly, that I felt better when he was around me or on the phone. He seemed to be the one person who knew me, knew what I was going through and gave me the pep talks that kept me going when it got really tough.

We talked almost every day on the phone. After a couple of weeks, I let future honey, come visit me. He drove 8 hours to see me and stayed at my family's house. This was the first time that my family got to see him take care of me and they fell in love with him. I got to see someone care so much about me that nothing got in his way.

I remember watching him fixing my wheelchair so they could take me out to the park for some fresh air. My father let him take the lead, let him take care of me and let him show me his care and concern. Did my father know something that I didn't? Even though we have so much against us like culture and different religions, is all that really matters is that we found each other?...

Stay tuned for the next chapter. Interracial Dating: Chapter 3 Part 2 More Then Friends? Recovery

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