Coffee talk: Why do I blog?

Time for some coffee talk...it's been one of those weeks where my life twisted and turned. And sweetie I'd love for you to send some positive vibes over my way. It took me a couple of days to realize that sitting down and writing can help. But when did this blog turn into a security blanket for me? Under the Sheets~shhh is there in times of good and ready to catch me if I fall.

Why do I blog?

I've been asked this question many times when I proudly talk about my little blog. At what point did I feel the need to share all of my thoughts with the world? My blanket includes every comment that I get, every picture I take and every thought for a post.

When times are busy I love to ask you to guest post and when times are slow I have somewhere to turn to be creative and free.

It seems when I 'm on a road something happens and I have to change my way. I seem to always land on my feet and can see later on see why the road has changed by a move or change of job. What advice would you give someone to keep their chin held up high ?

Newlywed first test drive

Imagine the newly married couple has just survived their wedding. They are looking at each other happy and continue to glance down at their left hands to see wedding rings. So what’s the one thing I’d advise them not to do after traveling 17 hours from San Francisco to Rome on their honeymoon? Uh rent a car and drive in a country they've never been to.

Could this be the first bumpy road in their new marriage?

OK so I’m being a little dramatic, but this was actually our honeymoon plan that we survived. A couple of weeks ago, we arrived in Rome and drove from the airport to a little town in Tuscany called Montalcino.

As Honey and I headed onto the Italian open road, our Fiat rental car was stuffed with suitcases, Italian translation books and maps. When we got lost, what saved us over and over was Honey’s iPhone. Thank g-d for Google maps! In fact I imagined myself writing this post to you while I fought through my jet lag and played front seat navigator to his driving. I would fall asleep, wake up, give him the next directions and then crash again.

Our true newlywed test came when we decided to drive from Montalcino to Florence for the day. Driving to Florence in the morning was amazing because we got to watch the sunrise over the Tuscan countryside. The pictures we took didn’t seem to do it justice. All the trouble started when we drove back from Florence to Montalcino leaving at 11 at night. I promise it took us 4 hours, three maps, iPhone apps and some breathing exercises to get us back to our Tuscan bed and breakfast.

After a long day of sightseeing in Florence we were lost, like really LOST. Our maps weren’t helping and we only had 16% left on the iPhone battery. If it wasn’t for the iPhone, I think we’d still be on an Italian highway driving in circles.

When it was all over it was our calm heads that got us through the newlywed driving. Well it wouldn’t have been the worst thing in the world if we had to sell all of our things and move to Italy, now would it? What was one of your first newlywed tests sweetie?

Diet later: Rome and Tuscany food

Who gave us the best advice before we left on our trip to Italy? It was from my father. And boy was he right. He told me to diet later and enjoy every piece of Italian food I could get my hands on. I have to say that I took his advice literally and breathed a little deeper to make more room for the amazing gelato and perfection pasta.

Williams-Sonoma Foods of the World: Rome: Authentic Recipes Celebrating the Foods of the World. Try cooking some authentic Italian recipes at home with this cookbook.

Tiramisu has always been my favorite, but I learned something new in Rome about this classic dessert. We can make our tiramisu with fruit. You can use whatever is in season like juicy strawberries, blueberries or even mango.

Finger foods and appetizers complimented most of our four course Italian meals. Here are some bruschetta pieces and olive oil mushrooms. These first course examples helped encourage my pallet to wake up for the main course.

Oh amazing gelato...where have you been my entire life? Plus I loved how we got to choose two types of gelato that complimented one other. And most of the gelato places believed that they had the best gelato in Italy. So I had to try them all, right sweetie?

And we discovered what pizza was meant to taste like in Rome. Napoli pizza and pizza bianca eaten folded over is still calling to me. All of the pizza had fresh ingredients, thinner crust, basil, fresh tomatoes, buffalo mozzarella and was cooked to perfection. We're trying to recreate it at home. I'll let you know how we do!

It wouldn't be a honeymoon in Tuscany without wine tasting some Brunello wine. We stayed in a sleepy, cobblestone and lovely town called Montalcino which is famous for their brunello's. The residents even cook with this wine and braise beef and chicken in it. Yum!



Dieting later was a wonderful way of encouraging us to let go and enjoy. To live in the moment and enjoy all Italy had to offer. Good food, wine, dessert, music, fashion and people surrounded us. And I would travel back in a second. Do you agree with my father's advice to us?

Blogging advice; Eat breathe and live it

It's been almost two years, that I secretly started writing this blog. Under the Sheets~shhh was my secret and I thought I would never share it with anyone. I am so glad I was able to let go, feel confidant in my words and share. And so many wonderful things have happened because of it. Then one day I was given the best blog advice ever! "Your blog will become successful only when you start to eat breathe and live it!" This became my blogging words to live by.

* Photo courtesy of Jimmy Backius

How does working on your side project of writing consume you?

Do I like giving myself homework? Well no, but I love the feeling of creativity that this blog gives me. I actually feel like something is missing if my posts aren't done. And whenever I see a scenario that makes me say out loud, "that would make a great post" I know I am truly done for.

I wonder what's happened to me? Suddenly I see life in colorful words. For example I was talking to my brother in Toronto and he told me about an amazing restaurant they just had dinner at called O.Noir. "Dining in the Dark, when you eat food in the dark, your remaining senses are heightened to savor the smell and taste of food." And my first response to him was, "What an amazing concept. How should I write about it?"

I guess only bloggers can understand how my life and my art has combined so seamlessly that I am starting to lose the line.

And where did I go to learn my new blogging craft. I would read a lot of articles about social media, read other blogs that I admired and Honey would send me posts by Seth Godin.

My blogging advice I'd like to pass to you is to network as much as you can. Develop relationships with other blogs so you and your community will continue to grow. Well at least that's what happened to me lovelies!

* Photo courtesy of James Nader

If you had a friend who just starting out blogging, what advice would you give to them? Have a great day sweetie!

Change can be good thing!

Change has always been a pretty fearful thing for me, but I recently learned that it can also be a very good thing. Yes lovelies this picture is of me dressed as a Hindu Bride for our recent Hindu engagement ceremony. For those of you that are keeping score we’ve had double parties since we are having double the ceremonies, Hindu and Jewish. I was honored to be celebrated and embraced in Honey’s culture and yet I was fearful to be seen like a fish out of water. Or embarrass anyone!

It took me several weeks to look as comfortable as I do in this picture. And how did I do it? Well, I had to let go and stopped fighting the change. I also saw how happy it was making the people around me. Can I also tell you a little secret? I felt like a true princess dressed in a sari with so many yards of gorgeous fabric and jewelry.

And my father flew to San Francisco to be apart of the ceremony and in addition to Honey’s family and friends we had our friends come and support us as well. The engagement ceremony felt like a taste of what the Hindu wedding ceremony will feel like.

So lovely, why do we fight change so much?

As soon as I stopped fighting, I felt a sense of calm come over me. I suddenly knew that I was being pushed and pulled in all of the right directions. The next day I saw these engagement photos and felt comfortable and happy. It felt like we had gone through a true rite of passage. Plus Honey and I felt loved and supportive. Have you ever struggled with making change? Tell me sweetie do you think change can be a good thing?

You spin me right round baby right round....

The music starts playing and it doesn't matter if I'm on a crowded dance floor or standing alone in my bedroom, I close my eyes and move. I loved the free feeling when I would spin as a child and not have a care in the world. But as adults, I notice how people dancing beside me on the dance floor have a concerned look on their faces.

Old tapes are playing in their adults heads like, "What are people thinking of me as I move? Am I good dancer? Do I look silly?" Is it still OK for adults to spin?

But I won't let those tapes play for me. Dancing is my time to let go and move. In fact when I watch others dance professionally, I can feel my feet moving and my stomach in knots especially when the dancers are incredible.

You can tell, lovely, when someone is an incredible dancer by the control they have over their entire body. From head to toe they are feeling the beat and translating the music into movement.

When I open my eyes and other dancers are not feeling comfortable, I wish I could give them some advice to just... Close your eyes, let go and spin.

How much better would this world be if we had art, dance and song to lean on? I recently had a massage in Calistoga (yes I know I'm a brat) and the masseuse confided in me. I let her know that she had healing hands and appreciated her relaxing me. She then asked me, "Why can't I let myself go and enjoy anymore?" So I told her about my theory of spinning. And you know what she started to spin right there and had a huge smile on her face. So sweetie what do you think about my theory of letting go?

In two words...Italian honeymoon!

Yes we just bought tickets to go on our honeymoon…drum roll please…to Italy. Which I know will be one of the most magical places I've ever seen. Honey and I were talking about traveling to Belize or Hawaii, but both sets of our parents called to encourage Italy. There’s something so calming to know that after all of our hard wedding work, we can get on a plane to Rome and get lost while we still feel the newlywed bliss.

Italy, I can’t wait to be welcomed by your history, cobble stone streets, beauty, food, wine, music and warmth of people. Can someone call ahead and let them know we’re coming? Thanx sweetie.

I am so excited to go to the Italian countryside and be calm. We can drive the Amalfi Coast without having to talk about what flowers to pick or discuss menu selections. Sure wedding planning is a rite of passage, but our treat is visiting Italy.

And I knew we made the right honeymoon decision when we started to tell people. For example, recently while standing in our local supermarket the grocer asked us about our wedding planning and we told him our news. A woman waiting in the line behind us started to tell us of her incredible Italian honeymoon. She wished she could still be there watching the Italian sunset and eating olives.

Life will take over for Honey and I after our glow has gone. Our days will become more about our daily lives together, seeing friends and family, lunch making, children rides to and from baseball…but we can quickly think back to our time away.

It was the book Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert that spoke to my soul about letting go and enjoying the travel.

You haven't read it oh you so have to!

So what advice do you give us while we are away our Italian honeymoon? Should we be tourists and see everything Italy has to offer or get lost in the Italian countryside?

Puma is a cougar in training?

My three girlfriends and I were recently sitting at a coffee shop when the topic of our relationships came up. Doesn’t it always? I quickly realized that all three of us were all in different stages. One was living with her girlfriend, another engaged etc. Sure I made a joke about how my stock was about to go down, but it was my friend who needed the advice about her non-boyfriend that she’s been seeing for almost a year.

Yup her non-boyfriend that she sees every weekend, most nights, they spend weekend getaways together and have been each other’s plus one at work events. And then I laughed out loud when she called herself a cougar because of their age difference.

I suggested that, “She wasn’t a cougar, but a puma.” Don’t you agree? A cougar is a woman who is in there forties and hunting for twenty year olds. A puma is a (cougar-in-training) woman in her thirties dating a younger man. And I’m so glad my girlfriend laughed.

Why do we feel better with labels though?

With her new puma status she seemed to carry herself a little stronger and sit up a little straighter in her chair. Never mind she was caring for someone that wasn’t giving back the way she wanted.

'Puma' seemed to make her feel better. It seemed confusing to be seeing someone she cared about and yet they checked in periodically to make sure that the other one hadn’t fallen in love because of their ‘understanding’. I encouraged her to break up from her non-boyfriend and find someone who deserves her time, energy and care. Maybe she just feels the puma pull to being free and unattached. Or is this a myth as she seems attached to me?

Pumas are cougars in training, but where does the training come from if you have a broken heart. I hope she gets this non-boyfriend out of her system soon and see’s how wonderful she is. So lovelies do you agree or disagree with my advice? And just remember she’s probably reading this post…

Not one but two wedding ceremonies

Some of my blogging friends (thanx Dollface) have been asking about wedding updates and we some big ones have been happening. Ah yes drum roll please...we will be having not one, but two wedding ceremonies. That's right! Two...one Hindu and one Jewish.

And I'd love your advice on how to handle everything.

Over the last years, I have thought a lot about what our wedding could be like. I also understood that we come from two different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs. So Honey and I decided that a combined wedding would be a wonderful way to bring everyone together.

After we got engaged I even wrote in one of my posts...so funny to be quoting myself:

"I’m about to go through planning a Hindu and Jewish wedding. We fondly call Hinjew. We’re not the first or the last couple to attempt this, but going outside of the box is never easy. I hope we can have a combination wedding and have a lot of warmth and loads of love on our big day."

I know the idea was a bit idealistic. Then we started to realize that a wedding is bigger then the two of you. Weddings are about family and giving them the pleasure of supporting you.

Recently we had a huge turn around of support. And instead of one family we now have two. With this comes my Honey's family offering to give us a traditional Hindu ceremony along with the other wedding ceremony we have been planning in late May.

Honestly, I do feel the added stress of double weddings. I feel a little lost in the whole process. There's so much good that can come from families blending and supporting.

Then the smaller details seep into my head like two wedding dresses, invitations etc. We should take double honeymoons! Ah I wish.

So how am I going to deal with having not one, but two wedding ceremonies? Well I'm going to remember the wise words of a friend of mine who said, "It could have been four ceremonies!" What's your advice for this double blushing bride?

Retro writing and blogging 101

I love finding ideas in my every day to blog about. I am also in love with photography. And, once I discovered the term retro blogging, I was hooked. Retro blogging is exactly how I feel. I can tell a story through my words or guide readers through pictures. But what do I do if I hit writer's block or blog burnout? Let's enter my Retro Writing and blogging 101 class...

A couple of things work best for me. First, I like to use a blank word document and write any ideas that come to mind. I try to remove all judgment and criticism. If I like an idea then I start to create or search for pictures.

Links are researched next to prove my points. I might jot down a couple of lines and then I walk away from the computer and let the idea sit in me and form.

And sure sometimes, I really should be wearing this T-shirt while listening to friends and family tell stories. Once in a while I hear myself saying out loud, "Now that would make a great post."





Between you and me, I miss the color and feel of pens for when I used to write my short stories. Now its the clicking of the keyboard that tells me I'm home and feeling creative and ready to blog.



Coffee shops are amazing for my creativity, especially if I have some music to rock out to. The coffee shop is not my work, or home and the smell of the coffee let's me know its time to create.



I get asked by my friends, family and followers of this blog how do I come up with so many topics. My response is, "How can't I?" I have so many thoughts, ideas and experiences bubbling inside. To write it all out has been a gift.

I love the blog advice, to become a success you need to live, eat and breath your blog...and I do. It has become a joy to work on and other times I just stare blankly at the screen. So the next time I start to feel writer's block, I will remember to go the coffee shop and think retro blogging 101. What tips so you use when you feel blocked for posts?

Older women with a younger man?

Do older women and younger men relationships work? Trust me they do. In fact, I'm marrying a younger man as Honey (click here to read more about our love story) and I are one of those couples. Shocked? Sometimes it's hard to not care what others think of our age difference. Sure I've seen the raised eyebrows, but I am happy and that's all that matters to me!

In every relationship we ask ourselves about the deal breakers. I had to ask myself if I was ready to be with someone that wasn't established in life yet and be there as he goes to Business school. Honey had to ask himself if he wanted to be a young father as I/we want to have children.

Picture from CBS show Accidentally on Purpose

Do we notice the age difference? I notice how much we laugh together. Yes sometimes it's funny when I quote a movie and Honey has no idea what I'm talking about. But we teach each other so much. Plus we have so much in common. We want to travel the world, spend time with our family and friends, cook together, become a family and continue to always learn.

I ask you, why it looks like older women with younger men know a secret that others don't. There seems to be a twinkle in their eyes. A twinkle that many of us wish we could bottle. When I was last in L.A. visiting my family, we went to the beach for my father's birthday. A woman from the party walked up to me to congratulate the engagement. She asked me how many years apart we were. I told her 7 1/2. She laughed because she was 13 years older then her husband. And she had such a twinkle in her eye...

Picture from ABC show Cougar Town

Am I attracted to his energy or his hopefulness for the future. I think it's a little of both. So now its your turn to weigh in. Do you think a relationship between an older woman and a younger man can work?

The truth can hurt!

Could you go an entire day without telling a lie? Before you answer, this includes no white lies or being able to bend the truth? For me, it would be very difficult and I’d feel horrible if I hurt someone’s feelings. I'm not sure, how a people pleaser stops pleasing for 24 hours?

Last weekend we saw the movie The Invention of Lying with Ricky Gervais and Jennifer Gardner. And today, I'm honestly still thinking about the movie. How would I rate the movie? It was an interesting concept, but the movie was nothing to write home about. It did remind me, however, that we are all bunch of liars!

Wait, we're not? Liar, liar, pants on fire!


When someone asks me about my day, have I ever responded honestly? For example did I say, “Today I had a tough day because I only slept for a couple of hours, I forget to pay my cell phone bill and I’m down to my last pair of underwear."

Instead my usual response is, “I had a good day and you?”

And what if someone wanted your honest opinion about a family member. “Isn’t Aunt Kathy just wonderful?” Since you’re no longer allowed to flower the truth, you have to respond bluntly and say, “Actually, Auntie Kathy and I clash and have never seemed to get along.”

To be honest, (sorry for the pun) this movie reminded me of when my Father and I use to write speeches. My grade school English teacher, would assign us to write a 3 minute speech to be performed in front of the class and then if chosen, performed in front of the entire school.

For my speeches my father and I would sit together and brainstorm ideas. One of my winning speeches, (no lie) was about ‘what would it be like if you got caught in a Television? After seeing the movie, I called my father and told him it was just like one of our speeches.

The truth can hurt, but isn’t it better to be honest and not to lie? Do you think you could get through a day telling the absolute truth to everyone? Really, let's start now...

Wishful Wednesday: Vegas!

On this Wishful Wednesday, I wish for a wonderful trip to Vegas this weekend. I hope to meet lot's of lovely blogger ladies that can teach me a thing or two. It would also be wonderful to meet the minds behind the blogs I've been admiring. Do you think anyone would want to meet me?

And then we'll go see the Las Vegas strip from the Bellagio hotel.

Then, I hope to see lot's of brides and grooms getting married. I have so much respect for those couples that run off to Vegas and have Elvis marry them at the Little White Wedding Chapel.

I hope to see more flower displays like this one at the Bellagio hotel.

And we'll have to hit at least one buffet. Have any suggestions on where I should go?



And I also wish to win big this weekend in Vegas. Well, who doesn't? Have a wonderful wishful Wednesday!